Brave Marginalized Heterosexuals Hold Pride Parades Across Nation

Brave, Marginalized Heterosexuals Hold Pride Parades Across Nation

“They don’t even make laws for us! The gays can be fired in 26 states for being homosexual and we get nothing. It’s disgraceful!” Continue reading Brave, Marginalized Heterosexuals Hold Pride Parades Across Nation

U.S. Treasury is Voiding the Value of the $20 Bill Due to Problems With New Harriet Tubman Twenty

Get rid of your twenty dollar bills before it’s too late! The U.S. Treasury Department says it will be taking the value of a $20 bill down to zero. Continue reading U.S. Treasury is Voiding the Value of the $20 Bill Due to Problems With New Harriet Tubman Twenty

23andMe Discovers Gary Busey & Boris Johnson Are Trump’s Brothers

“Genetically-speaking the lineage has certain characteristics that really stand out; such as having categorically unpleasant hair and personalities.” – 23andMe CEO Anne Wojcicki Continue reading 23andMe Discovers Gary Busey & Boris Johnson Are Trump’s Brothers

Trump Explains Why He Hasn’t Made a Homophobic Nickname For Pete Buttigieg, Yet

“When I think of something, you better believe I’m going to go right up to him, get right on Peter and really ride him. Just unload on him with everything I’ve got – and I’ve got a lot. Just ask Melania. I’ve been trying to finish for quite a while, and when I do it’s going to feel great folks. Just great.” Continue reading Trump Explains Why He Hasn’t Made a Homophobic Nickname For Pete Buttigieg, Yet

Betsy DeVos Removes ‘Appreciation’ From National Teacher Appreciation Day

“At this point teachers must be making, what? $125 thousand a year and they won’t stop complaining?” DeVos stated. “We have to push back against these union thugs who are always striking.” Continue reading Betsy DeVos Removes ‘Appreciation’ From National Teacher Appreciation Day

Johnson & Johnson Releases New ‘Extra Tears’ Baby Shampoo

Johnson & Johnson is introducing the product after research proved that about 87% of parents were looking for ways to “get back at their babies” – in a fairly harmless way – for the countless sleepless nights, spit-ups, disgusting diapers, nasty farts and constant fussing.” Continue reading Johnson & Johnson Releases New ‘Extra Tears’ Baby Shampoo

Frustrated Waldo From ‘Where’s Waldo?’ Books Just Wants to Jerk Off in Peace

Back in 1987, the distinctively dressed Waldo set out to have a quick, private wank. Now, 33 years later, what was supposed to be a five minute meat beating bonanza, has turned into a world-wide journey in search of a place to rub one out. Continue reading Frustrated Waldo From ‘Where’s Waldo?’ Books Just Wants to Jerk Off in Peace

Disgusting Lactose Intolerant People Emit the Same Amount of Methane as Dairy Cows

“I can tell you how the world ends right now. We fart ourselves to death.” – Stanford Professor Böse Blahung Continue reading Disgusting Lactose Intolerant People Emit the Same Amount of Methane as Dairy Cows