Black Americans across the country are seriously considering risking their lives by staging and open carry rally outside of the White House. While still in the early planning stages, the group would hold the gathering in order to get president Trump to pass gun control legislation. “It worked when the Black Panthers open carried in California,” gun control advocate Terrell Jenkins stated. “In fact, Ronald Reagan passed the Mulford Act banning the public carrying of loaded guns while he was governor in that state.” As of press time most political scholars believe that president Trump would enforce strict gun laws if the black community holds an open carry rally anywhere near the White House. Meanwhile, the NRA has called for background checks and waiting periods for all Americans who are trying to purchase a firearm. “It just kind of clicked for us all of a sudden,” NRA President Carolyn Meadows stated. “We get it now.” photo credit Lorie Shaull Advertisements
A group of white supremacists, anti-government militias, extremists – and what we are assuming are some very fine people – gathered today outside of the the capital building in Richmond, Virginia wearing masquerade outfits to protest background checks for purchasing guns. The right wing groups claim they aren’t there to intimidate anyone; except for the government and anyone that disagrees with them. Most people at the rally wore flamboyant robes and porcelain-like masks while they carried shotguns, pistols, military-style rifles, handguns and even lugged around machine guns. “We aren’t here to intimidate anyone,” one man wearing a floral mask, white lipstick and carrying an assault rifle stated in a deep southern accent. “But try to take my guns and I’ll fucking kill you!” As of press time, authorities are hoping that no acts of terror or violence occur. “When you get this many ‘good guys’ with guns in one spot, a single terrorist would probably only be able to shoot a few people before everyone would open fire, killing the terrorist and at least 30 people around them,” Virginia Governor Ralph Northam stated. “Unfortunately, sometimes it’s just hard to protect people from themselves, but doing background checks before selling guns should be a step in the right direction.”
After yet another mass shooting today, 73% of Republican parents in America now support background and mental health checks for gun ownership. “It took awhile, but we’ve reached a tipping point,” registered Republican Donna Davis admitted. “Until it happens to one of your own, or you yourself, it’s just unfathomable for us conservatives to empathize. But after 147 school shootings, we’ve all been impacted.” As of press time, experts are trying to find a way for all Republicans to experience poverty, being a minority, and what it’s like to be surrounded by idiots. Photo by Nick Youngson
“In Narnia alone we lost centaurs, fauns – and some of them, I’m sure, were unicorns.”
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Americans are sharing their thoughts.
“With the amount of mass shootings we’re having, it’s not unreasonable to expect savings of around $4,500 a year.”