Historic: Iran votes to allow women in pornography

YouReadyGrandma

In a narrow 151-139 vote, Iranian Parliament voted today to allow women to star in pornography. Up until today, women had been barred from appearing in any adult films or printed magazines. “No longer will we have to dress young men as women in order to shoot our films,” Iranian President Hassan Rouhani smiled. “No longer will we have to pretend that we aren’t masturbating to thinly-veiled gay porn.” Going forward, Rouhani says that any citizen caught viewing the old Iranian porn will be stoned to death for being a homosexual. Advertisements

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High heels damage Space Station during first all-female spacewalk

YouReadyGrandma

NASA is in hot water again today after providing female astronauts with high heels for the first all-female spacewalk outside of the International Space Station. After not having enough spacesuits for women for a canceled mission earlier this year, NASA is now facing criticism for blatant sexism from several women’s rights groups. To make matters worse, the astronauts caused damage to the exterior of the space station when a Christian Louboutin heel shattered a $1.7 million solar panel and punctured a backup pressure valve. As a gesture of good faith, NASA says they’re sending up rolls of quarters for the women to use in the feminine hygiene dispensers.

Tired of excessive eye contact, women are going braless after ‘Me Too’

YouReadyGrandma

“I never thought I’d have to say this, but my boobs are down there.”

President Trump just sexually assaulted Mike Pence in celebration of Women’s Equality Day

YouReadyGrandma

Trump said he groped “every inch” of Pence to show that he “believes in treating men and women exactly the same.”

Staff Forces Joe Biden to Get Hair Plugs So He’ll Stop Smelling Women’s Hair

YouReadyGrandma

Biden’s hair came from his soundproof hobby room where he keeps his personal collection of real hair, mannequins and doll parts.

Chris Brown Recorded Real Domestic Violence to Create Percussion Tracks on New Album

YouReadyGrandma

Authorities are calling Chris Brown’s new album Indigo “32 tracks of incriminating evidence” which relate to 14 new assualt allegations against the artist.

Republican Bill Blocking Funding for Planned Parenthood Aborted on US Senate Floor

YouReadyGrandma

“We know it is hard for Mr. McConnell to have to abort the bill right here on the Senate floor, but Democrats are truly supportive of the decision.”

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