NASA announced today that it will be launching Texas Senator Ted Cruz into space next month in an attempt to redirect an asteroid that will pass nearby Earth. Scientists say Cruz’s body will not be […]
A leaked memo from the office of Senator Ted Cruz has revealed that the Republican Party leaders don’t actually believe in much of what they say or do. When reached for comment, Cruz had some […]
According to his wife and several sources close to him, Ted Cruz went missing today right after news broke that the Zodiac Killer’s cypher was cracked. Authorities say that they found Cruz’s shitty beard hair […]
The bill was expected to pass unanimously, but has turned into an inexplicable, one-man filibuster by Ted Cruz.
Booker’s 15 minute ventriloquism act included a perfectly performed impersonation of Sesame Street’s best-known character.