U.S. Stops Development of Genetically-Modified, Cybernetic Babies

YouReadyGrandma

An executive order from the desk of President Trump has put an end to genetically-modified, cyborg baby programs.

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Republican Bill Blocking Funding for Planned Parenthood Aborted on US Senate Floor

YouReadyGrandma

“We know it is hard for Mr. McConnell to have to abort the bill right here on the Senate floor, but Democrats are truly supportive of the decision.”

Radical Religious Group “Y’all-Qaeda” Bans Abortion in Alabama

YouReadyGrandma

Authorities have confirmed that Y’all-Qaeda leadership has ties to a Mississippi terror cell referred to as Talabangelicals who are also complete [expletive].

Trump Says He Wonders What Babies Taste Like at Wisconsin Rally

YouReadyGrandma

“Wrap the baby beautifully in a flour tortilla and toss it in the oven,” Trump stated while wiping saliva from his chin. “If you do all of that, then maybe I take a little bite. A nibble. I don’t know. I don’t know.”

Louisiana Governor Proposes 24-Hour Paid Maternity Leave

YouReadyGrandma

“We’re giving new mothers 24 hours off, 8 of which will be paid. That leaves plenty of time for doing Kegels.”

FDA Approves iPhone Birth Control App

YouReadyGrandma

“It will sound like an airplane is taking off inside of the user’s vagina,” iBort creator Justin Swartzky stated.