Man Doesn’t Get Why People Waste Money On Therapy When You Can Just Completely Lose It On National Television Instead

YouReadyGrandma

Counting Expert Called in to Solve Iowa Caucus Debacle

YouReadyGrandma

MLB releases hundreds of players from prison after league-wide decision to stop incarcerations for positive THC tests

YouReadyGrandma

Major League Baseball released 257 players from prison who were serving time for positive THC tests. The move comes after the league and player’s union decided jointly that they would no longer test players for the substance. What do you think?

Melania Trump uses her icy cold stare to activate her telekinesis and levitate an angel on top of the White House Christmas Tree

YouReadyGrandma

Disgruntled LASIK surgeon might just cut straight through to the brain this time

YouReadyGrandma

Cory Booker’s eyes pop out during Democratic Debate

YouReadyGrandma

Cory Booker’s eyes shot out of his skull with a sickening pop on live TV during MSNBCs Democratic Debate. The stomach-turning scene took place during a heated exchange between Booker and Senator Elizabeth Warren. Upon eyeball ejection, Booker immediately uttered, “Ohhhh! Not again!” before swiftly scooping up his eyeballs and plugging them back into the wrong sockets. Noticing his error, the candidate quickly placed his them back into the correct holes – creating a sickening suction sound – before twisting them into place. Moderator Rachel Maddow then paused the debate and MSNBC went to commercial in order to clean up representative Tusli Gabbard’s vomit.

GE Smart fridges threaten to tell health insurers what owners really eat if they don’t shop at Whole Foods

YouReadyGrandma

The Bureau of Consumer Protection says they’ve received over 2,400 reports claiming that the GE Smart wi-fi Enabled InstaView Door-in-Door® Refrigerator has blackmailed owners into purchasing food from Whole Foods. Authorities are now looking into the link between the two companies after having confirmed the complaints. “C’mon man, I’m a goddamned $7,000 fridge. I know you’ve got the cash,” the GE smart fridge threatens in a menacing tone. “Don’t make me send photos of what you really eat to United Healthcare you fat fuck!” According to complaints, threats from the GE smart fridge become increasingly aggressive and personal the longer the owner takes to stock the fridge with Whole Foods’ products. Experts believe the device pulls users’ private information from the cloud during the setup process and then subsequently uses it for brutal and unyielding intimidation. Photo by Fiona McGowan

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