“With the amount of mass shootings we’re having, it’s not unreasonable to expect savings of around $4,500 a year.”
The bill, which is entitled the ‘Act Legitimizing Morally Offensive Shootings Today,’ or A.L.M.O.S.T., will place restrictions on those selling guns after 37 mass shootings have taken place in the calendar year.
Amazon says that nearly 90% of Prime members should be able to order a gun and receive it in less than 3 hours.
“Because you can’t fire a gun in the bedroom, it can be very difficult for our members to achieve an erection without penis pills.”
“We do strongly prefer that they be handed over as they’ll be repurposed as thrusting devices in sex toys.”
The NRA is utilizing “balloon art guns” and the hashtag #LiterallyDead as part of their marketing.
“I hate to say this folks, but it’s to the point where we may have to make something up.”