“It’s sad to think how much we could have achieved if we hadn’t installed so much BDSM programming.”
Democrats are trying to persuade Melania Trump to bring the president to mindblowing climax.
“Oakley’s actions have thrown open the closet doors for individuals who are aroused by licking things to claim them as their own,”
“I think that my aunt needing 57 stitches in the buttcheeks and rectal region is a strong selling point for the product.” – Kholer President & CEO
The 1,750 calorie meal has made its return for the month of February only.
“We’re giving new mothers 24 hours off, 8 of which will be paid. That leaves plenty of time for doing Kegels.”
“I have never seen that much blood.”
A poll of 565 men has found that 82% did not believe mutual masturbation to be a homosexual act, with respondents expressing a sentiment that touching cock isn’t gay, but lips touching lips is gay – meaning that emotional intimacy is their real issue – not the dick. What do you think? Joshua O’brien: “If […]
Ginsburg is maintaining a steady high with edibles from Senator Sanders until her new lung is healed.
The 112 bed, 202 bath Mar-a-Lago Federal Correction Complex will be one of a kind.
We may never understand what a vegan is, or why fish qualifies as a meat, but we’ll never forget that if global warming is real, at least the vegans died first.” – DonaldTrump
We’re leaning toward ‘acting just like all of you fucking assholes.’
Ginsburg didn’t know she’d broken her ribs until bruising showed through her tattoos.
“It’s not like we’re asking them to carry our purses up there – although that would be ideal and hopefully it leads to that.”
“Honestly, I think we’re just going to move every piece of debris 10 feet to the right and see if that helps,” Long stated.
Garten has been raising her own humans for consumption in a coop next to her garden.
Dawn has sent 5,500 bottles of soap to help clean thousands of Native Americans who are now covered in oil.
“Kavanaugh needs a liver by Christmas and the Democrats don’t give a lick!” – Senator Lindsey Graham
#Kavanaugh #FBIReport #SupremeCourt
Presidential Alerts cannot be turned off on mobile phones.
“We’re trying to attract more meat-eaters by selling a diverse selection of what we are pretty sure they like to eat,”
“He’s found a loophole here and it’s simply stunning.” – Rudy Giuliani
“It’s crazy to say it, but you almost wish they weren’t dead.”
“If enough of us do it, they can’t catch us all.”
“These kids aren’t fully investing themselves in the vibrant artistic expression and riveting stories.” – Jane Meyers, Head of Stanford’s Sex & Gender Studies
“It will sound like an airplane is taking off inside of the user’s vagina,” iBort creator Justin Swartzky stated.
“The president had been taking Viagra six times a day – one pill with every meal.” – Rudy Giuliani
“If you are going to pick one, pick bulimia. That’s all we’re saying here.”
Banana sales have increased by 27% in the United States.
“It really comes down to time and resources.”
Nigerian fans brought 2,500 colorfully-painted, live chickens into Russia’s Kaliningrad Stadium.