We may never understand what a vegan is, or why fish qualifies as a meat, but we’ll never forget that if global warming is real, at least the vegans died first.” – DonaldTrump
We’re leaning toward ‘acting just like all of you fucking assholes.’
Ginsburg didn’t know she’d broken her ribs until bruising showed through her tattoos.
“It’s not like we’re asking them to carry our purses up there – although that would be ideal and hopefully it leads to that.”
“Honestly, I think we’re just going to move every piece of debris 10 feet to the right and see if that helps,” Long stated.
Garten has been raising her own humans for consumption in a coop next to her garden.
Dawn has sent 5,500 bottles of soap to help clean thousands of Native Americans who are now covered in oil.
“Kavanaugh needs a liver by Christmas and the Democrats don’t give a lick!” – Senator Lindsey Graham
#Kavanaugh #FBIReport #SupremeCourt
Presidential Alerts cannot be turned off on mobile phones.
“We’re trying to attract more meat-eaters by selling a diverse selection of what we are pretty sure they like to eat,”
“He’s found a loophole here and it’s simply stunning.” – Rudy Giuliani
“It’s crazy to say it, but you almost wish they weren’t dead.”
“If enough of us do it, they can’t catch us all.”
“These kids aren’t fully investing themselves in the vibrant artistic expression and riveting stories.” – Jane Meyers, Head of Stanford’s Sex & Gender Studies
“It will sound like an airplane is taking off inside of the user’s vagina,” iBort creator Justin Swartzky stated.
“The president had been taking Viagra six times a day – one pill with every meal.” – Rudy Giuliani
“If you are going to pick one, pick bulimia. That’s all we’re saying here.”
Banana sales have increased by 27% in the United States.
“It really comes down to time and resources.”
As walking billboards for work ethic, conservatives add relish to hotdogs as they salivate over the notion of countless 80-hour work weeks to pay for an ambulance ride.
Nigerian fans brought 2,500 colorfully-painted, live chickens into Russia’s Kaliningrad Stadium.
Those who take prescription drugs made by Pfizer will not be able to notice the difference.
‘MAGA’ is a unisex perfume boasting liquefied $100 bills as a key ingredient.
The amount of marijuana that Mr. Sessions consumes on a daily basis is staggering.
Customers can choose from: Careful Crunch, Medium Munch, or Gnarly Gnaw.
“Americans will become more honest and open about sex, sexual education, and hardcore sexual domination,” Cornell said while rubbing his ‘itchy nipples’.
“We should always be looking up to God before going down to worship,” said Francis.
‘The number of homeless veterans wheeling hundreds of gallons of gasoline through bustling urban centers could be a huge safety problem.’
Memorial seats are truly unique pieces of furniture and a longstanding tradition in American public spaces. #Memorial #America
Weird Foods the Locals Eat: From Alabama to Wisconsin. Would You Try Them? #StrangeFood