The bill was expected to pass unanimously, but has turned into an inexplicable, one-man filibuster by Ted Cruz. Continue reading Ted Cruz fights bill banning members of Congress from watching porn at work
“We’re not saying that blind people should encircle DeVos and beat her with their white canes,” the statement read. “But we’re not, not saying it either.” Continue reading Special Olympics Revokes Betsy DeVos’ Participation Trophies
“I almost gave up and started drawing patterns in the bubbles, but then I remembered I was voting.” Continue reading Nervous Voters Voice Concern Over Correct Ballot Answer Always Being (D)
Team refuses to speak to straight, male figure skater. #WinterOlympics Continue reading Olympic Figure Skater Disowned After Coming Out as Straight
The world’s top U.S. whiskey gets an ‘offensive’ marketing overhaul. Continue reading Jack Daniel’s to Use ‘What Would Jesus Do’ Acronym
Citing differing opinions regarding Freedom of Speech as found in the First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution, fans in section 129 of the Carolina Panthers vs. San Francisco 49ers game spent the 12-minute halftime respectfully debating the merits of free speech in relation to patriotism. Continue reading Fans in Section 129 at NFL Game Engage in Reasonable Discourse Regarding Colin Kaepernick
The North Korean leader then flipped open a glass-encased red button, pressed it, and was immediately torn apart – along with the rest of his country – by a faulty nuclear missile. Continue reading North Korea Accidentally Nukes Itself
“When you get a maniac like Obama. Okay. And he is, he really is. Then you end up with days like today,” Trump stated while pointing toward the only side of the room without any windows. Continue reading Trump Blasts Green Energy, Obama for ‘Unseasonably Dark Day’
“I would always tell him that it’s not a good idea to eat a ‘snack’ before, during, and after each hole at one of his world-renowned golf courses,” sadly… Continue reading BREAKING: White House Sources – Trump Has Awful Stroke
“What would you say to those around the world who are afraid of your leadership” – Trump paused, took a deep breath, and began: Continue reading Trump Steals Song Lyrics for Press Conference Answer
A little known fact about our eight-foot-six-inch-tall first lady Michelle Obama is that she uses her phenomenally long and powerful arms to rescue cats and kittens that get stuck in Washington D.C. metropolitan area trees. Hovering at just over 8’6″, … Continue reading 8’6″ Michelle Obama Frequently Rescues Cats From D.C. Trees
The polls showed a likely win for her, but the results did not reflect that; whatsoever. Now we have a fail-safe and proven reason as to why he managed to become the next President of the United States of America. Continue reading Princeton Study: How Trump Defeated Clinton, Why the Polls Were Wrong
There is, in fact, a 5th hijacked plan from 9/11 that is still flying above our borders, with hostages. Let that sink in, because I know I had to as well. Let’s just pause to think about that.” Continue reading 5th Hijacked Plane from 9/11 Still Flying
With a strong, seasonal depression quickly approaching, many Americans are considering staying home for the 4th of July weekend. Indeed, most experts agree that due to the severity of the looming depression – staying home, locking the doors, and hunkering … Continue reading Severe Depression to Impact Holiday Weekend for Many
With Senator Ted Cruz dropping out, John Kasich is the only hope for the Republican establishment. Here’s how he can still win… Continue reading The Case for Kasich: How He’ll Be The Nominee
American psychologists assessed IQ’s of Presidential Candidates #jeopardy Continue reading American Psychologists Release Estimated IQ’s of Presidential Candidates
“America leads the world in pretty much everything awesome, there’s no need to even research that because everyone knows it. Fact. Period. Soaring eagles. End of story. But, did you know that…” Continue reading 6 More Ways America Leads The World
“During the latest Republican Presidential Debate, Dr. Ben Carson took the time to lay out a shockingly specific plan for how ISIS could severely cripple the…” Continue reading Ben Carson Lays Out Detailed Terror Plot to Help ISIS
