Upon boarding planes over the weekend, customers immediately noticed that there were no seatbelts.
“We’re asking that all passengers take a look in overhead storage and under their seats to avoid crushing the reptiles and to assist in their capture.”
“There’s no better way to seem interesting than with a story about the time you were held at gunpoint by the East Harlem crew for wearing the wrong color romper.”
“It’s an odd hellscape where you can hear people scream as their bones crunch under your boots.”
“The abrupt endings of these conversations will lead to awkward silences, but the thrill of a total power trip makes it all worth it.”
“You can expect your loved ones to land safely; with only minor amputations being necessary.”