Spirit Airlines, renowned for their inventive fee structures, has introduced an up-charge for the inspection and tightening of aircraft panels. This latest addition to their fees aims to “provide passengers with the ultimate sense of security.” Dubbed the “Panel Assurance … Continue reading Spirit Airlines Adds Fee For Inspecting & Tightening Panels in Your Row
Airplane manufacturing giant Boeing stunned travelers and the entire airline industry today when they announced a massive recall on all of their 747 Jumbo Jets. The move comes just weeks after employees came across an abandoned warehouse full of – … Continue reading Boeing Issues Massive Recall On All 747 Jumbo Jets After Finding Omitted, 748th Part In Abandoned Warehouse
Frequent traveler and businessman Kenneth Hildman of Dallas, Texas says he is close to having a complete breakdown while he waits in line at Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport security. Despite never committing a crime in his life, Hildman thinks that … Continue reading Man At Airport Security Has Sudden, Unfounded Fear That He May Have Hid Drugs Up His Butt
A Frontier and Spirit Airline merger fell through just hours after being announced this morning when both companies realized that the other had slipped in hundreds of millions of dollars in hidden ‘merger fees’. “It was a wonderful idea to … Continue reading Frontier-Spirit Merger Cancelled After Airlines Try To Charge Each Other Millions In Hidden Fees
Billionaire businessman and entrepreneur Elon Musk recently purchased 420 private jets in an effort to prevent 19-year-old college freshman Jack Sweeny from using an algorithm he created to reveal where Musk and his plane are at all times. Notably, Musk … Continue reading Elon Musk Buys 420 Private Jets To Stop Teen’s Flight-Tracking Bot From Tweeting His Location
Quick Facts Boeing has been plagued with recent failures including electrical issues on the 737 Max that caused two deadly crashes killing 346 people. At least 17 of the 787’s were equipped with a single rear engine and no wings … Continue reading Apologetic Boeing Recalls All 787 Aircrafts After Inspection Reveals Planes To Be Lacking Wings, Engines
A new Gallup Poll revealed today that nearly 100 percent of the general public isn’t concerned over why the extremely wealthy are trying so desperately to make it to outer space, and quickly. When reached for comment, Elon Musk said … Continue reading General Public Somehow Unconcerned As To Why The Wealthy Are Desperately Trying To Go To Outer Space
Reports of an extreme uptick in unruly behavior by conservative passengers has prompted Spirit Airlines to announce that they are now supplying crew members with tasers. “In an average year, there are around 100 to 150 cases of bad passenger … Continue reading Unruly Conservatives Will Be Tased ‘Mercilessly & Without Warning’ On Spirit Airlines
After finally removing all of the filth and grime from NYC subways last night with a thorough cleaning, the NYC Metropolitan Transportation Authority (MTA) excitedly announced this morning that they had found a $20 bill in the process. Upon hearing … Continue reading NYC Might Clean Its Streets For the First Time After Finding $20 Bill While Disinfecting Their Subway
(Altoona, PA) Local man Dan Stephenson – whose entire family is under quarantine – dug up his old house floor plan in order to show his increasingly bored family all of the possibilities for where they can go this weekend. … Continue reading Weekend Travel Plans Include the Possibility of Visiting the Living Room, Master Bedroom, and Back Porch
(Waukesha, WI) Because of the coronavirus, local man Jeremy Rhiner says he’s preparing for the very real possibility that he will have to drive his three kids 1,274 miles to Disney World. “It’s probably only a matter of time before … Continue reading Dreaded Family Road Trip Becoming a Real Possibility as Coronavirus Spreads
If you have an upcoming Delta flight you had better get your Gas-X ready. The airline says it will now ban passengers from their planes if they ruin a flight with persistent farting. The move comes just one week after … Continue reading Passengers Flying Delta Can Now Be Banned For Chronic Flatulence
British Airways announced today that they’ll be denying all healthy passengers access to flights both to and from China. Instead, the company says it will offer flights exclusively to people infected with the coronavirus. “Our pilots, flight attendants, baggage handlers, … Continue reading British Airways will exclusively fly people infected with coronavirus to keep passengers safe
Recent studies reveal that nearly 20% of flight attendants saying they’ve received reports of passenger-on-passenger sexual assault on a flight and 68% have been sexually harassed themselves. If you’re keeping up with the times, you should already know that there … Continue reading 5 things you should never do with your penis on an airplane in 2020
In an apology for cutting out all LGBT sex scenes from Rocketman – the biographical musical film based on the life of musician Elton John – Delta airlines has announced they’ll be playing nothing but gay sex scenes on flights … Continue reading Delta flights will play same-sex pornography on repeat for the month of December
