Soccer Moms Are Drinking Purell to Take the Edge Off This Summer

YouReadyGrandma

“It’s hard to keep the kids clean and the depression buried deep, deep down inside. Purell lets you do both.”

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Green Chicago River Full of Vomit by 10 AM

YouReadyGrandma

“We’re just going to burn the alcohol-laced vomit off like every year, that’s where the city gets its signature smell.” – Chicago Gov. J.B. Pritzker

Sexual Predator Could be 2nd Alien on Supreme Court

“The investigation is not meant to be a space expedition. Unfortunately, we don’t have a Space Force yet.” – Kellyanne Conway

Jack Daniel’s to Use ‘What Would Jesus Do’ Acronym

YouReadyGrandma

The world’s top U.S. whiskey gets an ‘offensive’ marketing overhaul.

President Trump is Still Learning How to Drink Water

YouReadyGrandma

“We estimate that he was out cold with water in his lungs for about 2 minutes.”

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