A recent study by Princeton University comparing George W. Bush and Donald J. Trump to former, non-drug-addicted presidents definitively shows that the United States would have been better off electing someone who was sober and […]
“It’s hard to keep the kids clean and the depression buried deep, deep down inside. Purell lets you do both.”
“We’re just going to burn the alcohol-laced vomit off like every year, that’s where the city gets its signature smell.” – Chicago Gov. J.B. Pritzker
“The investigation is not meant to be a space expedition. Unfortunately, we don’t have a Space Force yet.” – Kellyanne Conway
The world’s top U.S. whiskey gets an ‘offensive’ marketing overhaul.
“We estimate that he was out cold with water in his lungs for about 2 minutes.”