Melania Trump Was Accidentally Deported

YouReadyGrandma

“The swirling rumors say that Melania refused to return to the White House for two weeks.”

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Reebok is Selling The New ‘Confederate CrossBurn’ Shoe to Attract Nike Boycotters

YouReadyGrandma

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Scientists End Debate: ‘Pineapple Belongs on Pizza if You Enjoy Pineapple on Pizza, You Shitheads’

YouReadyGrandma

“Science has confirmed that you all can shut the [expletive] up about it.”

NFL Announces ‘Hall of Fam’ Nomination for Donovan McNabb, Other Slightly Above Average Players

YouReadyGrandma

“The Hall of Fam is like the silver medal for personal achievement. It’s meant for the guys that are a tad better than just okay.”

Everyone Who Used Snapchat’s Gender-Swap Filter is Now Banned From US Military

YouReadyGrandma

The ban is estimated to block 82.6 million US citizens from service and dishonorably discharge another 1.7 million Americans from the military.

Massive Opium Fields to Be Burned Off in Wisconsin After Monsanto-Bayer Merger Fails

YouReadyGrandma

“Now it looks like we’re going to have to burn off about 16 square miles of mature opium crop. So if you live in the area, buckle the [expletive] up on Saturday.”

Betsy DeVos Removes ‘Appreciation’ From National Teacher Appreciation Day

YouReadyGrandma

“At this point teachers must be making, what? $125 thousand a year and they won’t stop complaining?” DeVos stated. “We have to push back against these union thugs who are always striking.”

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