Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi was caught on back to back days having businesses in San Francisco illegally style and remove hair from both her head and her anus. Pelosi says that she was tricked into receiving both services … Continue reading Backdoor Business: Nancy Pelosi Caught Getting Anus Waxed Day After Blowout
Looking to completely redo his image, Donald Trump has grown a unique mustache in which the hair is only in the middle portion of his upper lip, and approximately the width of his nose. In addition to this, he’s had … Continue reading Trump Sports New Hairstyle, Grows Trendsetting Mustache For RNC
The Mormon Church broke news yesterday that they had amassed over $100 billion in a charity fund over the course of 22 years in order to buy every American “magical underwear”. “Made of unbleached cotton, these stylish full-body jockstraps make … Continue reading The Mormon Church collected $100 billion to buy every American magical underwear
President Donald Trump shocked White House staffers today when he walked out of his bedroom, bald as a cue ball, and headed straight to the James F. Brady press briefing room to address journalists. The president says that the decision … Continue reading Trump addresses journalists without his hairpiece in a gesture of transparency
With a seemingly continuous turnover of advisors in the past three years, president Trump now finds himself being advised by six different handbag designers, including his daughter Ivanka. The White House maintains that only a small percentage of meetings are … Continue reading Majority of White House advisors are also handbag designers
An industry-wide spike in the price of birth control has bumped the average monthly cost from $47 up to $125, forcing many women to have to choose between a pill that prevents pregnancy and a hideous article of clothing that … Continue reading A spike in birth control costs is hampering women’s ability to buy mom jeans
The new line of sandals will come in 7 species options and be released in about one dog year. Continue reading Furries rejoice as Birkenstock announces Furkenstock sandals
“Someone from that festival will be having an unwanted child that babbles bullshit for years; so when that happens, I highly recommend they name it Kanye.” Continue reading Kanye West Was Selling Damaged Condoms at Coachella for $125
“Sqoobz aren’t comfortable to wear by any means. Your tits will be flopping around in there.” – Victoria’s Secret CEO Jan Singer Continue reading Victoria’s Secret: Cube-Shaped Bras and Breasts Are ‘Trend of The Future’
