“Schwarzenegger was also not ‘carrying a backpack,’ he was actually strapped in to a military-grade jet pack.” Continue reading Schwarzenegger Identified as White House Intruder with “Backpack”
The former President reported that it was “very easy” to find most of the guns. Continue reading Obama Begins Nationwide Confiscation of Guns
NRA President Wayne LaPierre, and Executive Vice President James W. Porter II have announced a plan to quickly curb mass shootings in the United States of America. Here are their tips for lowering the number of shooting deaths: Continue reading Heads of NRA Announce Plan to Stop Mass Shootings
Handsman had thought that pedometers, which are tiny instruments used to record the distance traveled or number of steps taken in a given period of time, were actually tools used to detect something about pedophiles. Continue reading Local Man Shocked to Find Out That Pedometers Had Nothing to do With Touching Children
“At first I thought she was kidding, because we like to have a good time at the store, but then I walked up to him and he gave me that same ‘what the hell are you staring at’ look that Debra had described.”
Philsmoore told reporters that he wasn’t even that mad until Wellington began to increase his volume.
“It was like he was mocking me. The old bastard wouldn’t quit.” Continue reading Man Kicked Out of Barnes & Noble for Reading Out Loud