In a move that will reduce their plastic waste by 30%, Marriott International announced that their hotels will no longer provide single-use toiletry bottles for guests to steal. Instead, as part of a company-wide green initiative, Marriott says they will put out reusable, 36-ounce pump-action shampoo and conditioner bottles. Photo Credit Karen Bryan Advertisements
After a warm reception while testing out plant-based protein at an Atlanta location, KFC is completely switching over to imitation meat and changing its name to Kentucky Fried Chickpeas. The fast food restaurant cites lower costs and environmental reasons for making the switch. “Honestly, if people were willing to eat the trash we served before, then this transition should be painless” KFC CEO Roger Eaton stated. Meanwhile, an outraged President Trump – who normally eats KFC several times a day – has called for a boycott of the chain, calling the move ‘unfair’ and the food ‘fake meat.’
“Have they considered powering these windmills with coal?”
We can’t have Canada smelling like burnt, used condoms anymore,” Prime Minister Justin Trudeau stated.
“The people alive today are the last generation of humans that’ll live on this planet as we know it. Having said that, I’d like to invite everyone to go ahead and eat a dick.”
“If you can toss a plastic soda ring right around a turtle’s neck or ram a straw up their nose you win $100 in Uber ride credits.”
“Who cares if you can’t wash the smell off, you’ve saved an orangutan!”