Brookfield, WI – Incapable of rational thought, local straight, white, able-bodied, Christian man Alan Richmond says that because his life has been hard too, it means that privilege cannot possibly exist. Experts are saying that Richmond is a very common … Continue reading Incapable Of Rational Thought, Man Says His Life Is Hard Too, So Privilege Can’t Possibly Exist
Former president Donald Trump gave praise to Vladimir Putin today for the methods he’s using to invade Ukraine while he was on Laura Ingraham’s show. Trump went so far as to call the Russian president a “crafty and brilliant thinker” … Continue reading Trump Calls Himself A ‘Sapiosexual’ While Praising Putin As A ‘Crafty & Brilliant Thinker’
According to sources at Fox News, entertainer Tucker Carlson has spent the last few days disillusioned, crying and upset that the Mars company has made their green M&M character “less sexy” by swapping out her high heels for regular shoes. … Continue reading Tucker Carlson Livid That The Green M&M Is ‘No Longer Fuckable’
Citing a “total lack of interest” along with a “universal disgust” in her videos, Canadian-owned pornography website Pornhub announced today that they had removed every single upload featuring your mom. Pornhub confirmed that their site had “become infested with horrifying … Continue reading Pornhub Deletes 60% Of Its Videos In Huge Move To Rid Site Of Your Mom
Columbia, SC – Senator Lindsey Graham says the only reason he’s conservative is because he gets “incredibly hot” when he hears fellow right-wingers mock, belittle, and dehumanize homosexuals such as himself. Graham claims this is who he is at his … Continue reading Gay Conservative Just Really Turned On By Being Dehumanized
The American Association of Retired People (AARP) released a new poll today revealing that, when forced to choose, 87% of Americans over 50 would prefer to have sex with Joe Biden over Donald Trump. Reasons cited by the more than … Continue reading AARP Poll Ranks Biden as Being ‘Decidedly More Fuckable’ Than Trump
Disney announced that yet another one of their rides will be getting a politically correct upgrade this month after the company decided that their ‘The Little Mermaid: Ariel’s Undersea Adventure’ ride was both sexist and racist. The new ride, which … Continue reading Disney’s The Little Mermaid Ride Is Being Renamed ‘The Little Mer-Person: Ariel’s Woke Adventure’
(Brookfield, WI) Local man Jeremy Walowitz says his first date with Amy Patel is going so well that he just might be getting an elbow job. “You have to be extra careful when dating during the coronavirus outbreak,” Walowitz stated. … Continue reading Date Going So Well, Man Just Might Get an Elbow Job
After taking over 5,200 photographs of male genetalia, experts at Cornell University have released a computer-generated image of what the average male penis looks like. This is an image of the most basic dick: Continue reading Guys: This is what the average penis looks like
Nancy Pelosi and fellow Democrats announced today that they plan to push forward with the collection of evidence in an effort to lube up Republicans across the aisle and get them to impeach president Trump. “We want to give them … Continue reading Edging: Democrats plan to get Republicans very close to impeachment several times before finishing inside the Senate
Wikipedia has taken to blackmail in order to raise enough money to keep the non-profit, volunteer-based information site up and running. With the #11 landing page on the site being searches for xHamster, dads everywhere have begun reporting a threatening … Continue reading Desperate: Wikipedia threatens to tell family about xHamster searches if dad won’t donate $3
After following Mike Pence home Sunday night to ask questions about the impeachment hearings, field reporters from FOX News saw something much, much more interesting in the Vice President’s garage: a ‘Mother-Pence 2020’ banner along with several campaign yard signs. … Continue reading Breaking: ‘Mother-Pence 2020’ Campaign Signs Spotted in Pence Family Home Garage
South Carolina Senator and closeted homosexual Lindsey Graham told reporters today that he’d “snort a pound of cocaine out of the president’s chocolate starfish before even considering impeachment.” “That’s right,” a wide-eyed Graham continued. “I’ll take a pound of coke … Continue reading Lindsey Graham: “I’ll snort cocaine out of Donald Trump’s asshole before I’ll vote to impeach”
After decades or targeting the homosexual chicken community, Chick-fil-A says they’ll no longer actively source LGBTQ fowl to serve in their restaurants. The announcement comes as a shock to many, as the company had never mentioned the practice before. Meanwhile, … Continue reading Chick-fil-A says they’ll stop exclusively killing and serving gay chickens
The USDA is defending itself after adding ‘Ass’ to the MyPlate nutritional guide in an effort grab attention, look cool and fit in with current youth culture. One promotional poster that was sent to schools recommends eating ass twice daily. … Continue reading USDA adds ‘Ass’ to MyPlate nutritional guide in misguided effort to relate to today’s youth
PornHub CEO Mike Zoffler and countless other companies from the industry have revealed that literally all of the legal pornography on the internet is being stored 375 feet under the Arctic ice in a remote location. Notably, there’s a global … Continue reading All of the porn on the internet is being preserved in this Arctic cave
Many men have started calling unsolicited photos of their penises “surprise gender reveal parties” What do you think? Continue reading Is sending a dick pic the same thing as a gender reveal party?
