Rioters Destroy Police Station, Leaving Just Three More Poorly-Disguised Horcruxes

YouReadyGrandma

Despite deadly counter-charms and curses, another horcrux was destroyed by rioters in Minneapolis last night. Witnesses say that the horcrux, which was poorly disguised as the Third Precinct Police Building, tried to protect itself by apparating countless angry men from white supremacy gatherings across the nation and then outfitting them with riot uniforms, tear gas, rubber bullets, and other weaponry.

‘If You Like Your Skin Color, You Can Keep It’ Trump Reassures Black Supporters

YouReadyGrandma

After a morning interview in which former Vice President Joe Biden told black Americans “you ain’t black” if you are voting for Trump, president Trump fired back with two tweets, drawing a sharp contrast between the two candidates.

Chiefs QB Patrick Mahomes Gives His MVP Trophy to a Nearby Native American Tribe

“If this will lift the curse from constructing Arrowhead Stadium on an Indian burial ground, then we’re willing to let it slide.” – Chiefs CEO Clark Hunt

Mr. Clean Cosplayers Host Bonfire Party in Dayton, Ohio

The group stands out by wearing white clothing, often with pointed hoods to keep their bald heads warm.

Washington Redskins Justify Keeping Name in 2019 by Drafting a Native American in the First Round

“The Washington Redskins select any Native American. That’s right. Any. Just send anyone, but preferably someone athletic or okay with doing commercials.”

Tucker Carlson Forgets to Remove Klan Robe, Walks On to Set of Fox & Friends

“None of them seemed phased by Carlson. It was like the [expletive] Twilight Zone.”

Tostitos Releases Extreme Mild Salsa For White People

Tostitos describes their new Extreme Mild Clear Salsa for White People® as being a thick, gelatinous substance for those with genetic spice sensitivities.

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