Chiefs QB Patrick Mahomes Gives His MVP Trophy to a Nearby Native American Tribe

“If this will lift the curse from constructing Arrowhead Stadium on an Indian burial ground, then we’re willing to let it slide.” – Chiefs CEO Clark Hunt

Mike Pence’s Grindr Account Has a Countdown to Impeachment

YouReadyGrandma

Users of the popular gay dating and hookup app ‘Grindr’ have reported that Vice President Mike Pence had a countdown to impeachment on his profile that only remained visible for a few minutes. One user managed to snap a screen shot of Pence’s profile before it was changed. Later the two men met at the vice president’s home in Washington D.C. whereupon Pence gave the man a rusty trombone for nearly 4 hours while masterfully performing several patriotic songs with his lips.

Congress Passes Resolution to Completely Ignore Middle East

YouReadyGrandma

“The $85 billion we save a year will go toward green energy, education, infrastructure and ending homelessness in America.”

Breaking: ‘Mother-Pence 2020’ Campaign Signs Spotted in Pence Family Home Garage

YouReadyGrandma

After following Mike Pence home Sunday night to ask questions about the impeachment hearings, field reporters from FOX News saw something much, much more interesting in the Vice President’s garage: a ‘Mother-Pence 2020’ banner along with several campaign yard signs. Notably, the campaign materials in question have retained the ‘MAGA’ slogan, but repurposed the acronym to stand for “Make All the Gays go Away.” Return Home Take me to the MEMES!

AX-570 android “Barron Trump” returned to a Japanese factory after malfunction causes it to attack

“As the AX-570 android referred to as “Barron” appeared to grow in its capacity to feel, perceive, and experience subjectivity, the android’s aggression toward president Trump grew exponentially.”

President Trump just sexually assaulted Mike Pence in celebration of Women’s Equality Day

Trump said he groped “every inch” of Pence to show that he “believes in treating men and women exactly the same.”

Annoyed Robert Mueller Snaps: “Oh My God, Just Impeach the Bastard Already!”

“Holy hell! C’mon people. Do I need to spell it out for you!?” – Robert Mueller

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