Mike Pence’s Grindr Has a Countdown to Impeachment

Users of the popular gay dating and hookup app ‘Grindr’ have reported that Vice President Mike Pence had a countdown to impeachment on his profile that only remained visible for a few minutes. One user managed to snap a screen shot of Pence’s profile before it was changed. Later the two men met at the […]

BREAKING: Supreme Court Cancels 2016 Election, Unanimously

BREAKING: (D.C.) In an unprecedented judicial move, the United States Supreme Court has just used its power to halt the 2016 Presidential election on the grounds of an obscure, little-known, yet legitimate measure found in The U.S. Constitution. With one seat still vacant in the court, the 8-0 vote passed in the late hours of […]

Study: At Least 50% of Americans Need to Restart Their Brains

Leading scientists at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) are saying that a large portion of Americans need to hit the reset button on their brains. The problem has gotten so bad that scientists fear many people can’t actually see how different things can be interconnected, or conversely, completely unrelated. “The human brain is not […]

Severe Depression to Impact Holiday Weekend for Many

Severe Depression to Impact Holiday Weekend for Many

With a strong, seasonal depression quickly approaching, many Americans are considering staying home for the 4th of July weekend. Indeed, most experts agree that due to the severity of the looming depression – staying home, locking the doors, and hunkering down might be the wisest decision. “For me, it looks like the depression will be […]

BREAKING: Hillary Clinton Agrees to Debate Bernie Sanders

BREAKING: Hillary Clinton Agrees to Debate Bernie Sanders

After weeks of back-and-forth rhetoric, Hillary Clinton has finally agreed to debate Bernie Sanders. The Hillary Clinton/DNC Campaign has generously offered several dates, times, and locations for the two to clash – including some specific rules. Option #1: During the NCAA Championship game on April 4th, 2016. Debate Rules: The debate cannot begin before the […]

Milwaukee to Issue Flamethrowers to Residents

“Milwaukee, Wisconsin Alderman Jim Bohl has made a sweeping decree to issue flamethrowers to all residents in light of slow and ineffective snow-clearing efforts in the city. An order has already been put in with an undisclosed military manufacturer for nearly…”

Bill Cosby Admits to Slipping Pills to Subway's Jared Fogle

Bill Cosby Admits to Slipping Pills to Subway’s Jared Fogle

Although he has denied ever drugging or raping any women, Bill Cosby has now admitted to purchasing and using date rape drugs on Subway’s spokesperson Jared Fogle. The shocking admission of guilt has left child pornography suspect Jared Fogle in the clear, but also with many questions…

Tom Brady Announces Retirement

Tom Brady Announces Retirement

Brady revealed that he was “very hurt” by the NFL’s decision to ban him for 4 games. Further, the release stated that he “couldn’t stand to see his team slighted like this” – referring to the lost draft picks and $1 million fine.