“There’s zero evidence to prove that this ‘Mr. Curry’ is not simply a sentient organism comprised of a complex combination of sauce, meats, vegetables, herbs and spices,” the press release stated.
We may never understand what a vegan is, or why fish qualifies as a meat, but we’ll never forget that if global warming is real, at least the vegans died first.” – DonaldTrump
The tweet was accompanied by the hashtags #WhiteLivesMatter and #Disgraceful.
We’re leaning toward ‘acting just like all of you fucking assholes.’
Scott Walker will now have to flush his system of illegal substances in order to qualify for unemployment assistance.
“I almost gave up and started drawing patterns in the bubbles, but then I remembered I was voting.”
Previously Subaru had used coded marketing tactics to reach lesbians.
None of our anchors can say “Trump” without vomiting.
“If all of this goes according to their godless plan, the Korean Water Ghosts will force us to follow their cultural views or be killed.”
“It’s not like we’re asking them to carry our purses up there – although that would be ideal and hopefully it leads to that.”
The NRA is utilizing “balloon art guns” and the hashtag #LiterallyDead as part of their marketing.
Garten has been raising her own humans for consumption in a coop next to her garden.
Dawn has sent 5,500 bottles of soap to help clean thousands of Native Americans who are now covered in oil.
“Kavanaugh needs a liver by Christmas and the Democrats don’t give a lick!” – Senator Lindsey Graham
#Kavanaugh #FBIReport #SupremeCourt
Presidential Alerts cannot be turned off on mobile phones.
“We’re trying to attract more meat-eaters by selling a diverse selection of what we are pretty sure they like to eat,”
“The investigation is not meant to be a space expedition. Unfortunately, we don’t have a Space Force yet.” – Kellyanne Conway
“I just don’t see the problem here.” – Senator McConnell
“He’s found a loophole here and it’s simply stunning.” – Rudy Giuliani
“It’s crazy to say it, but you almost wish they weren’t dead.”
“If enough of us do it, they can’t catch us all.”
“These kids aren’t fully investing themselves in the vibrant artistic expression and riveting stories.” – Jane Meyers, Head of Stanford’s Sex & Gender Studies
“It will sound like an airplane is taking off inside of the user’s vagina,” iBort creator Justin Swartzky stated.
“The president had been taking Viagra six times a day – one pill with every meal.” – Rudy Giuliani
“If you are going to pick one, pick bulimia. That’s all we’re saying here.”
The masterpiece will be placed in the Smithsonian National Museum and is being regarded as an important artistic representation of modern day America.
“It really comes down to time and resources.”
“The first idea that it runs into is the decision that we go with.” – Secretary of Commerce Wilbur Ross
As walking billboards for work ethic, conservatives add relish to hotdogs as they salivate over the notion of countless 80-hour work weeks to pay for an ambulance ride.
Sarah Huckabee Sanders would neither confirm nor deny the claims.