Trump’s High School Revokes GED


“We estimate that the president stopped caring about the English language at, or around, the 4th grade.”

Texans Question Their Masculinity As State Begins Using More Wind Energy Than Coal

“Have they considered powering these windmills with coal?”

Canada Will Ban All Single-Use Condoms by 2021

We can’t have Canada smelling like burnt, used condoms anymore,” Prime Minister Justin Trudeau stated.

Uber’s New Submarine Service ‘ScUber’ Will Let Riders Drop Trash Directly on The Great Barrier Reef

“If you can toss a plastic soda ring right around a turtle’s neck or ram a straw up their nose you win $100 in Uber ride credits.”

Piling Bodies, Trash & Feces Make Mount Everest 9 Feet Taller Every Week


“It’s an odd hellscape where you can hear people scream as their bones crunch under your boots.”

Greenpeace Tells Americans: “Wipe Your Butts With Your Hands”


“Who cares if you can’t wash the smell off, you’ve saved an orangutan!”

Yale Study Says Farting Burns More Calories Than Working Out


“If friendship and odors don’t matter to you, then you could really get in great shape.”

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