We can’t have Canada smelling like burnt, used condoms anymore,” Prime Minister Justin Trudeau stated.
“The people alive today are the last generation of humans that’ll live on this planet as we know it. Having said that, I’d like to invite everyone to go ahead and eat a dick.”
“If you can toss a plastic soda ring right around a turtle’s neck or ram a straw up their nose you win $100 in Uber ride credits.”
“It’s an odd hellscape where you can hear people scream as their bones crunch under your boots.”
“Who cares if you can’t wash the smell off, you’ve saved an orangutan!”
“If friendship and odors don’t matter to you, then you could really get in great shape.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t get that,” Siri apologized as a wide-eyed Cook choked on a chunk of the XS Max.
“I can tell you how the world ends right now. We fart ourselves to death.” – Stanford Professor Böse Blahung
Mr. Cox has locked Eric Trump in the White House’s cold storage room next to the bowling alley in an attempt to show that air pollution does not harm humans.
“We’re just going to burn the alcohol-laced vomit off like every year, that’s where the city gets its signature smell.” – Chicago Gov. J.B. Pritzker
“We estimate that the president stopped caring about the English language at, or around, the 4th grade.”
“I’ve been calling it ‘Global Warming,’ but that’s just a trick folks; a term I use to make snowball jokes. My God, I’m so stupid.”
We may never understand what a vegan is, or why fish qualifies as a meat, but we’ll never forget that if global warming is real, at least the vegans died first.” – DonaldTrump
‘MAGA’ is a unisex perfume boasting liquefied $100 bills as a key ingredient.
Californians may have unknowingly gotten a lot of small children incredibly high.