“They don’t even make laws for us! The gays can be fired in 26 states for being homosexual and we get nothing. It’s disgraceful!”
According to their website, Mufflr is being funded by powerful lesbians Ellen Degeneres and Hillary Clinton.
“When I think of something, you better believe I’m going to go right up to him, get right on Peter and really ride him. Just unload on him with everything I’ve got – and I’ve got a lot. Just ask Melania. I’ve been trying to finish for quite a while, and when I do it’s going to feel great folks. Just great.”
“My dreams became littered with terrifying sex monsters that attacked my lesbian lover Barb.” – Elizabeth Warren
Elizabeth Warren announced today at a campaign rally that she is “ready and willing” to divorce her husband of 39 years and marry her “lifelong best friend Barb.”
“Eggland’s Best apologizes if we’ve torn apart any families because of our gay eggs.”
“Gates oozes with a sultry sex appeal that culminates in a passionate, 12-minute lovemaking scene with the masked hero Batman who is played by Apple CEO Tim Cook.”
“Most of the leathery, ball-related action on the field actually takes place in the players’ jockstraps,” Commissioner Rob Manfred stated.
“I pulled all of my investments in Elon’s companies halfway into the movie because I was certain he had been [expletive] to death.”
An attempt to clue the Vice President in using his teleprompter backfired; resulting in Pence aggressively shouting “There’s a tail sticking out of your ass” in the middle of an impassioned speech on moral decay in America.
Booker’s 15 minute ventriloquism act included a perfectly performed impersonation of Sesame Street’s best-known character.
A poll of 565 men has found that 82% did not believe mutual masturbation to be a homosexual act, with respondents expressing a sentiment that touching cock isn’t gay, but lips touching lips is gay – meaning that emotional intimacy is their real issue – not the dick. What do you think? Joshua O’brien: “If […]