Soccer Moms Are Drinking Purell to Take the Edge Off This Summer

YouReadyGrandma

“It’s hard to keep the kids clean and the depression buried deep, deep down inside. Purell lets you do both.”

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Study: Guys Use 3X More Lotion Than Girls, and Yes, You Know Why

YouReadyGrandma

“At least 87% of lotion used by men is vigorously rubbed on less than 1% of their bodies.”

Elizabeth Warren Becomes Spokeswoman for New Lesbian Dating App Mufflr

YouReadyGrandma

According to their website, Mufflr is being funded by powerful lesbians Ellen Degeneres and Hillary Clinton.

Elizabeth Warren Recommends Changing Your Dreamcatcher Filter Every Spring

YouReadyGrandma

“My dreams became littered with terrifying sex monsters that attacked my lesbian lover Barb.” – Elizabeth Warren

China Bans Heterosexual Sex Over Population Concerns

YouReadyGrandma

“The only sexual contact permitted in China for the foreseeable future will be homosexual in nature,” President Jinping stated while intertwining his fingers with NBA star Yao Ming.