Hard seltzer brands are enjoying what’s being called ‘The Summer of Seltzer’ as millions of barbaric Americans have come to terms with the fact that they don’t deserve nice things. These tasteless people have purchased so much of the carbonated-piss-water … Continue reading Hard seltzer sales boom as trashy Americans welcome mediocrity into their pointless lives
The state of Michigan passed sweeping legislation today banning the sale of flavored alcohol and vape products. The state claims that the flavors encourage smoking and drinking among minors. “There’s growing evidence that flavored products could have negative health impacts,” … Continue reading Michigan bans flavored alcohol and vape products as concerns over addiction in children grow
Warren says the two are inseparable. Continue reading Elizabeth Warren Says She Keeps a Beer Keg as a Pet in Her Massachusetts Home
“I saw the whole thing. Very odd, very sad.” – Senator Bernie Sanders Continue reading Elizabeth Warren Drinks Six Beers, Then Drunkenly Proposes a Warren-Sanders Presidential Ticket on Live TV
“This alcohol-infused breakfast beverage is the perfect way to start your workday or end your marriage.” Continue reading Pabst is Selling Alcoholic ‘Hard Coffee’ Because Fuck It
“We’re just going to burn the alcohol-laced vomit off like every year, that’s where the city gets its signature smell.” – Chicago Gov. J.B. Pritzker Continue reading Green Chicago River Full of Vomit by 10 AM
“Kavanaugh needs a liver by Christmas and the Democrats don’t give a lick!” – Senator Lindsey Graham
#Kavanaugh #FBIReport #SupremeCourt Continue reading Kavanaugh to Be Moved to Top of Liver Transplant List if Confirmed
The world’s top U.S. whiskey gets an ‘offensive’ marketing overhaul. Continue reading Jack Daniel’s to Use ‘What Would Jesus Do’ Acronym
