7 Reasons He’s Not Texting You Back, Jessica


From unexpected events to having no hands, here are the top reasons your man is avoiding you, Jessica.


Elizabeth Warren Becomes Spokeswoman for New Lesbian Dating App Mufflr


According to their website, Mufflr is being funded by powerful lesbians Ellen Degeneres and Hillary Clinton.

US Dept. Of Health: ‘Never Stick Anything Larger than a Grapefruit Up Your Butt’


“Remember, we’re only talking about girth. So if you wanted to tape 7 oversized grapefruits together and play hide the citrus in your [expletive], you could absolutely do that.” Secretary Alex Azar stated.

41% of American Adults Are Hiding Gold Bullion From Their Partner


“It’s nice to know that my wife has a backup plan in case our marriage fails because it means we still have something in common.”

Elizabeth Warren Says She’ll Divorce Her Husband and Marry a Woman to Win the Presidency


Elizabeth Warren announced today at a campaign rally that she is “ready and willing” to divorce her husband of 39 years and marry her “lifelong best friend Barb.”

Can’t Spell? No Problem: Dating App Users Are Attracted to Partners Who Can’t Spell


Being unable to spell is no longer considered a ‘dealbreaker’ among most Americans.

Pope Asks all Catholics to Pray Before Oral Intercourse

“We should always be looking up to God before going down to worship,” said Francis.

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