Conservative Waiting Until Bad Thing Impacts Him Before Caring About Issue

Conservative Christian Michael Dobbins of San Diego, California says he made the conscious decision years ago not to care about any political issues that don’t impact him or his closest family members until he absolutely has to. Dobbins says that … Continue reading Conservative Waiting Until Bad Thing Impacts Him Before Caring About Issue

Congress Passes Resolution to Completely Ignore Middle East

“The $85 billion we save a year will go toward green energy, education, infrastructure and ending homelessness in America.” Continue reading Congress Passes Resolution to Completely Ignore Middle East

Radical Religious Group “Y’all-Qaeda” Bans Abortion in Alabama

Authorities have confirmed that Y’all-Qaeda leadership has ties to a Mississippi terror cell referred to as Talabangelicals who are also complete [expletive].
Continue reading Radical Religious Group “Y’all-Qaeda” Bans Abortion in Alabama

Betsy DeVos Removes ‘Appreciation’ From National Teacher Appreciation Day

“At this point teachers must be making, what? $125 thousand a year and they won’t stop complaining?” DeVos stated. “We have to push back against these union thugs who are always striking.” Continue reading Betsy DeVos Removes ‘Appreciation’ From National Teacher Appreciation Day

Johnson & Johnson Releases New ‘Extra Tears’ Baby Shampoo

Johnson & Johnson is introducing the product after research proved that about 87% of parents were looking for ways to “get back at their babies” – in a fairly harmless way – for the countless sleepless nights, spit-ups, disgusting diapers, nasty farts and constant fussing.” Continue reading Johnson & Johnson Releases New ‘Extra Tears’ Baby Shampoo

Eric Trump is Currently Locked in a Room That’s Being Pumped Full of Pollution

Mr. Cox has locked Eric Trump in the White House’s cold storage room next to the bowling alley in an attempt to show that air pollution does not harm humans. Continue reading Eric Trump is Currently Locked in a Room That’s Being Pumped Full of Pollution

Leaked! White House Security Briefing Shows Insanity in Trump Administration

“It’s convoluted as [expletive]!” Senator Bernie Sanders stated. “The document obsesses over mechanical pencils and references outdated world news without context, but oddly enough everything ‘Trump’ now makes sense.” Continue reading Leaked! White House Security Briefing Shows Insanity in Trump Administration

Trump Construction of Gold, Mansion-Styled Prison is First Big Step Toward Prison Reform

Trump is Building a ‘Golden, Mansion-Style Prison’

Trump said that the new complex would be “an experiment representing a new approach for overhauling the prison system and has nothing to do with Michael Cohen’s testimony.” Continue reading Trump is Building a ‘Golden, Mansion-Style Prison’