Alarming: Most Americans have no plan for when they aren't raptured

Although most Americans admit they aren’t worthy of going to Heaven, the vast majority also say that they haven’t made a plan for when they inevitably become God’s leftovers. What do you think? Advertisements

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Officials warn liberals that a 2nd active Koch Brother is still at large

YouReadyGrandma

Those on the left are being told to stay indoors after public officials warned of a second active Koch brother. “Although one threat has been neutralized, there’s still another bad man reeking havoc on the country,” Joe Biden stated. The second brother has been identified as Charles G. Koch and is considered by authorities to be armed and cantankerous. “We could pass laws to protect ourselves from people like the Koch brothers, but that would require effort. So we’ll just wait for that old bastard to die,” a 76 year old Joe Biden stated. Artwork by DonkeyHotey

Millennials are burying their parents with the participation trophies they didn’t ask for

YouReadyGrandma

It’s a smart way to recycle while also saying ‘Thanks for playing the game of life! You certainly didn’t win, Sharon, but here’s a fucking trophy.’

Most of Country Keeping Flags at Half-Staff to Save on Labor Costs

YouReadyGrandma

“With the amount of mass shootings we’re having, it’s not unreasonable to expect savings of around $4,500 a year.”

Japan Resumes Hunting of Overweight Citizens After 30-Year Ban

YouReadyGrandma

Japan will resume the commercial killing of overweight citizens in an effort to curb the population of the island and supplement dwindling soybean supplies.

Piling Bodies, Trash & Feces Make Mount Everest 9 Feet Taller Every Week

YouReadyGrandma

“It’s an odd hellscape where you can hear people scream as their bones crunch under your boots.”

US Announces ‘Whale Force’ Military Division

YouReadyGrandma

“We wanted to name it something to do with the color blue, because the ocean is blue, even from space. In the end we settled on Whale Force and I think that’s just fine.”

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