Japan will resume the commercial killing of overweight citizens in an effort to curb the population of the island and supplement dwindling soybean supplies.
“With the amount of mass shootings we’re having, it’s not unreasonable to expect savings of around $4,500 a year.”
“It’s an odd hellscape where you can hear people scream as their bones crunch under your boots.”
“We wanted to name it something to do with the color blue, because the ocean is blue, even from space. In the end we settled on Whale Force and I think that’s just fine.”
We may never understand what a vegan is, or why fish qualifies as a meat, but we’ll never forget that if global warming is real, at least the vegans died first.” – DonaldTrump
“It’s crazy to say it, but you almost wish they weren’t dead.”
Obama suggests Trump could have avoided many scandals with one trick.
“Now it will look like you want to pay attention to your baby.”
“I absolutely loathe flu season,” stated Comcast CEO Brian L. Roberts.
‘Bananons,’ will be infused with Everclear grain alcohol which…
“We estimate that he was out cold with water in his lungs for about 2 minutes.”