Disney’s Jungle Cruise Movie is Finally PC Enough to Film After 13 Years of Rewrites


“We totally nixed three scenes where Dwayne Johnson would’ve been firing his gun at a bunch of hippos for absolutely no reason.”

Green Chicago River Full of Vomit by 10 AM


“We’re just going to burn the alcohol-laced vomit off like every year, that’s where the city gets its signature smell.” – Chicago Gov. J.B. Pritzker

Sexual Predator Could be 2nd Alien on Supreme Court


“The investigation is not meant to be a space expedition. Unfortunately, we don’t have a Space Force yet.” – Kellyanne Conway

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