The ‘Too Soon’ Gun Campaign Asks American Terrorists to “Tone it Down”

Our thoughts and prayers go out to everyone who wants to purchase more military-grade weapons.

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North Korea Accidentally Nukes Itself

The North Korean leader then flipped open a glass-encased red button, pressed it, and was immediately torn apart – along with the rest of his country – by a faulty nuclear missile.

Mike Pence Has Totally Snapped

On Thursday night, Vice President Mike Pence walked up to Donald Trump just outside of the White House Kitchen and “straight up dropped the motherfucker” with a right hook. An hour later at press time Pence was seen entering the The Crew Club – a famous Washington D.C. gay bathhouse. “Obviously nothing matters anymore, so…

Strict ‘No Farting’ Policy Enforced in White House

President Donald Trump used a morning staff meeting today to address leaks that have plagued his administration since day one. In an impassioned speech, the President touched on many topics – concluding with the implementation of a strict ‘No Farting’ policy. The new White House rule was accidentally released to the media by Press Secretary…