Health & Wellness, Mitch McConnell, Politics, U.S. NewsLeave a comment

McConnell’s Doctor Says Knowledge of Senator’s Missing Heart & Brain Ruled Out Stroke, Heart Attack, Immediately

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WASHINGTON D.C. – In a shocking medical revelation, Mitch McConnell’s personal doctor, Dr. Felix Mortimer, took to the podium to address the nation about the senator’s “freezing incident,” announcing that he was able to “immediately rule out any possibility of … Continue reading McConnell’s Doctor Says Knowledge of Senator’s Missing Heart & Brain Ruled Out Stroke, Heart Attack, Immediately

Animals, Beastblend, Shirts

NEW! Introducting Beastblend Hybrid Animals: Sharkitten, Koalacorn & Slothtopus! 15+ Colors!

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Today, I am thrilled to unveil my latest creation: Beastblend, a unique line of merchandise that brings together the beauty of the animal kingdom in the most unexpected and adorable ways. Prepare to be captivated as I introduce you to … Continue reading NEW! Introducting Beastblend Hybrid Animals: Sharkitten, Koalacorn & Slothtopus! 15+ Colors!

Facebook, Social Media, U.S. NewsLeave a comment

Mark Zuckerberg Banned & Fired From Facebook For Post After His Own AI Takes Over Company

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The newly-ousted former head of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg told reporters through teary eyes today that he had likely been permanently banned from his own social media platform and company. Zuckerberg, who stole the Facebook platform back in January of 2004, … Continue reading Mark Zuckerberg Banned & Fired From Facebook For Post After His Own AI Takes Over Company

Disney, Entertainment News, Florida, Politics, Ron DeSantisLeave a comment
its a small world ron desantis airdrop fly white house dolls colored black racist

Disney’s ‘It’s a Small World’ Has 48 Dolls Left After Ron DeSantis Airdrops ‘Colored Ones’ Over White House

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In an effort to eradicate “woke entertainment,” while testing new laws that would “get rid of race mixing,” Florida Governor Ron DeSantis admitted today that he was behind the effort to airdrop 252 non-white, stolen dolls from Disney World’s iconic … Continue reading Disney’s ‘It’s a Small World’ Has 48 Dolls Left After Ron DeSantis Airdrops ‘Colored Ones’ Over White House

Christmas, Fox News, Gun Control, guns, Holiday, NRA, Tucker CarlsonLeave a comment

NRA Recommends Pocket Knives For Babies This Christmas: ‘Guns Are For Toddlers & Older’

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The National Rifle Association says that this Christmas the perfect last minute present for a new baby is a pocket knife. Notably, the announcement is a huge flip-flop after decades of the NRA saying that guns are perfectly safe for … Continue reading NRA Recommends Pocket Knives For Babies This Christmas: ‘Guns Are For Toddlers & Older’

Lauren Boebert, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Politics, Republicans1 Comment
lauren boebert and marjorie taylor greene fight argue draw straws literally

Despite Drawing Straws, Marjorie Taylor Greene & Lauren Boebert Unable To Settle Argument Of Who Is Smarter

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The feud between Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert is dramatically increasing in intensity. The congresswomen – who had previously been buddies that heckled Joe Biden during his first State of the Union – decided to settle the debate of … Continue reading Despite Drawing Straws, Marjorie Taylor Greene & Lauren Boebert Unable To Settle Argument Of Who Is Smarter

dating, Sports, World CupLeave a comment

Tinder Bans All Soccer Fans For Seeking Slow, Boring Relationships With Little To No Scoring

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Brazil soccer enthusiast Pedro Silva says his Tinder profile was banned today after the dating app announced it would no longer allow soccer fans to have an account. Experts say that Silva is among the more than 3.4 billion people … Continue reading Tinder Bans All Soccer Fans For Seeking Slow, Boring Relationships With Little To No Scoring

Business, Fox News, Technology, U.S. NewsLeave a comment
Baby Oil Processor Squish Babies Abortion Shortage Ban

Experts Warn Of ‘Huge Baby Oil Shortage’ After Bans On Abortion Result In Fewer Fetuses To Squeeze Juices From

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With strict abortion bans going into effect in 13 states, baby oil manufacturers and suppliers are sounding the alarm that a product shortage is unavoidable due to an abrupt drop in the amount of aborted fetuses available to squeeze the … Continue reading Experts Warn Of ‘Huge Baby Oil Shortage’ After Bans On Abortion Result In Fewer Fetuses To Squeeze Juices From

Donald Trump, PoliticsLeave a comment

Rarest Trump Trading Card Is Ivanka In A Thong: There’s Only One & Trump Has Claimed It As His Own

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Donald Trump’s “big announcement” today was that he’s releasing digital trading cards starting at $99 each. He added that he holds the rarest card of all. “Think of it like baseball cards. Some are hard to find and some aren’t,” … Continue reading Rarest Trump Trading Card Is Ivanka In A Thong: There’s Only One & Trump Has Claimed It As His Own

celebrities, Elon Musk, MusicLeave a comment

Elon Musk Writes New Version of Elton John’s ‘Rocket Man’ After Iconic Musician Leaves Twitter

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Shortly after famous signer-songwriter Elton John announced his departure from Twitter, Elon Musk said he wrote a “new, personal, and introspective version” of the musician’s hit song ‘Rocket Man’ as sung from Elon’s perspective. Here are the lyrics and accompanying … Continue reading Elon Musk Writes New Version of Elton John’s ‘Rocket Man’ After Iconic Musician Leaves Twitter