U.S. Veterans to Get Lifetime Supply of Gasoline

‘The number of homeless veterans wheeling hundreds of gallons of gasoline through bustling urban centers could be a huge safety problem.’

Advertisements

Harvard Study Reveals that All Homophobic People are Gay

“This lengthy, intricate study was conducted by the folks at the Harvard Center for Brain Science and incorporated proven Penis Responsiveness Technology (PRT) and Brainwave Function Reading (BFR) from leading scientists from the Biomimetic Robotics Lab at MIT.”

Mike Pence Banned From Grindr

“Our first guideline for all users is that you cannot use nude photos in your profile, so that was strike one.”

North Korea Accidentally Nukes Itself

The North Korean leader then flipped open a glass-encased red button, pressed it, and was immediately torn apart – along with the rest of his country – by a faulty nuclear missile.

Mike Pence Has Totally Snapped

On Thursday night, Vice President Mike Pence walked up to Donald Trump just outside of the White House Kitchen and “straight up dropped the motherfucker” with a right hook. An hour later at press time Pence was seen entering the The Crew Club – a famous Washington D.C. gay bathhouse. “Obviously nothing matters anymore, so…