Opinion: I’m Not a Snowflake, I’m Just Fully-Clothed, Crying & Eating Goya Beans On The Shower Floor

YouReadyGrandma

Sorry libtards, but just because I’m fully-clothed, crying and eating Goya beans on the shower floor doesn’t mean that I’m a little, snowflake bitch like you. It means I’m a patriot who knows what’s really going on! Us Trump supporters are the ones who actually care about the United States! Not cucks like you. You dirty, purple-haired hippies probably don’t even know what a shower is! Ha! Well I’m trying to get all of my shower time in before the commie socialists start rationing food and water – which obviously would include beans and bathing. Besides, could a snowflake even handle listening to Y.M.C.A. on repeat while remembering how great Trump was and consuming five patriotic pounds of Goya brand beans? I think not! And why not? Because you’re all low-energy, un-American vegans. Wake up sheeple. All the participation trophies in the world aren’t going to save you from Biden. You’re all pathetic.

Frozen waffles are for tasteless psychopaths

YouReadyGrandma

If you enjoy eating frozen shit saucers that come out of the toaster one of two ways: burnt to a crisp or looking like someone fucked it to death, then you are a certified psychopath.

Increased risk of mental and physical disorders in high IQ people, obvious study finds

YouReadyGrandma

A recent study by the scientific journal Intelligence shows that people with high IQs are more likely to suffer from mental anxiety and hyper-reactive central nervous systems. What do you think? -Sharon Jenkins, Anger Management Coach – Jarret Zewinski, Learning Disabilities Specialist -Leonard Steiner, Stock Broker, Psychic Source

Can opener hasn’t been washed since it was bought 7 years ago

YouReadyGrandma

A can opener that was purchased from a Schaumburg, Illinois IKEA in 2012 has never been washed once in its life. Can opener owner Sean Miller says he has his reasons for never cleaning the device. “In all fairness I’m not really sure if you’re supposed put this model in the dishwasher because of the plastic handle,” Miller stated while opening a can of sardines. “Plus, it’s not like can openers really get that dirty.”

95% of Americans Don’t Believe That Eric Trump Has Any Bottom Teeth

YouReadyGrandma

A recent Gallop Poll of 7,500 Americans showed that 95% of citizens don’t believe Eric Trump has a bottom set of teeth. More News Support the Author Take me to the MEMES!

Kids, Give Dad What He Really Wants For Father’s Day: The Divorce Papers

YouReadyGrandma

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‘Food Smellers’ Need to Stop Weirding-Out Normal Eaters

YouReadyGrandma

“People who have to smell their food before eating it are complete monsters.”

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