Fox News host Tucker Carlson spent an entire hour last night attacking the Biden family for allegedly declawing the new White House cat. The decision to focus on the topic came despite the fact that […]
Category: Animal Rights
Swarm of 40,000 Africanized Bees Prompts City to Enact Stop-and-Frisk Policy
A swarm of 40,000 Africanized bees terrified white residents of Pasadena, California yesterday, prompting authorities to implement a stop-and-frisk policy in the city. “By simply stopping all of the African bees and forcibly removing their […]
Cadbury releases hair-covered chocolate bar in recognition of furry pride
The hair-covered confection comes with a prominent choking hazard warning as the company acknowledges that the hair can get lodged in the windpipe.
Mississippi Has Been Feeding Its Unsuspecting Residents Vegan, Plant-Based Protein Since 2009
“It’s safe to say that most residents of the state of Mississippi have been vegetarian, or close to it, since 2009.” – Governor Phil Bryant
North West’s Pet Hamster Kills Itself After Being Stuck With Kim Kardashian for Two Hours
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New York’s Streets Run Red With Blood After State Bans Cat Declawing
“It’s sheer chaos,” New York Governor Andrew Cuomo stated. “Our pussies have gone mad with power.”
Uber’s New Submarine Service ‘ScUber’ Will Let Riders Drop Trash Directly on The Great Barrier Reef
“If you can toss a plastic soda ring right around a turtle’s neck or ram a straw up their nose you win $100 in Uber ride credits.”