None of our anchors can say “Trump” without vomiting.
The package was a 6 foot tall, gold-plated cube that weighed nearly 3.5 tons.
“If all of this goes according to their godless plan, the Korean Water Ghosts will force us to follow their cultural views or be killed.”
Presidential Alerts cannot be turned off on mobile phones.
“It appears that he was not remotely aware of the situation and still probably isn’t.”
“The president had been taking Viagra six times a day – one pill with every meal.” – Rudy Giuliani
“I make great deals, okay? This deal is really phenomenal on the surface. It’s a wonderful, superficial deal,” Trump said.
Melania’s emails have been released to the public in an act of transparency.
The masterpiece will be placed in the Smithsonian National Museum and is being regarded as an important artistic representation of modern day America.
Nigerian fans brought 2,500 colorfully-painted, live chickens into Russia’s Kaliningrad Stadium.
Trump intended to nominate Mark McKinney who plays the role of Glenn Sturgis in NBC’s ‘Superstore’.
‘MAGA’ is a unisex perfume boasting liquefied $100 bills as a key ingredient.
The amount of marijuana that Mr. Sessions consumes on a daily basis is staggering.
This was a direct response to outcry from PETA regarding changes in Alaskan hunting regulations which would…
Obama suggests Trump could have avoided many scandals with one trick.
A painting by President George W. Bush shows his prediction of the future.
“Those familiar with the Bible will immediately know that this is The Mark of the Beast,” stated Carson while steepling his fingers and arching his eyebrows.
“We estimate that the president stopped caring about the English language at, or around, the 4th grade.”
Law now outlaws sale of guns in America.
The president’s internal struggle has become quite tangible. #MindOverMatter
“Aggression toward the president grew incrementally,” said head ATRI researcher Kaito Nakamura.
“Mitch insists on having mayonnaise in every single meal he eats.”
“As the Supreme Court of Alabama is the highest court in America, we will be continuing our fight on another path.”
President Donald Trump is furious that he hasn’t received a gift from Santa since 2000 – when he was 54 years old.
“We estimate that he was out cold with water in his lungs for about 2 minutes.”
“I’m going to be SO transparent that you will be like: ‘Hey! Where is he? Where did Donald go!?’
In an emotional response, U.S. President Donald Trump has tweeted a well-thought-out message to the world regarding the alarming missile launch today over Japan:
Trump tweeted and gave approval for the TSA to ban all passengers from flying if they dress like the suspect who is now in detainment.
On Thursday night, Vice President Mike Pence walked up to Donald Trump just outside of the White House Kitchen and “straight up dropped the motherfucker” with a right hook. An hour later at press time Pence was seen entering the The Crew Club – a famous Washington D.C. gay bathhouse. “Obviously nothing matters anymore, so […]
“When you get a maniac like Obama. Okay. And he is, he really is. Then you end up with days like today,” Trump stated while pointing toward the only side of the room without any windows.
“I would always tell him that it’s not a good idea to eat a ‘snack’ before, during, and after each hole at one of his world-renowned golf courses,” sadly…
Formerly an archeologist in the early 19th century, Melania unearthed Donald in Egypt back in 1909.
President Donald Trump used a morning staff meeting today to address leaks that have plagued his administration since day one. In an impassioned speech, the President touched on many topics – concluding with the implementation of a strict ‘No Farting’ policy. The new White House rule was accidentally released to the media by Press Secretary […]
“Schwarzenegger was also not ‘carrying a backpack,’ he was actually strapped in to a military-grade jet pack.”
“What would you say to those around the world who are afraid of your leadership” – Trump paused, took a deep breath, and began:
The tweet was accompanied by the hashtags #WhiteLivesMatter and #Disgraceful.