“Handies start at $18 and prices go up from there.”
“He didn’t know that whales were real and he is unreasonably terrified of them.”
The 112 bed, 202 bath Mar-a-Lago Federal Correction Complex will be one of a kind.
Trump starts gagging and declares that ‘the golden juice went down the wrong pipe!’
“With McCain already tormenting Donald Trump by repeatedly moving and re-hiding the pee tape, we can only expect worse and worse episodes.”
We may never understand what a vegan is, or why fish qualifies as a meat, but we’ll never forget that if global warming is real, at least the vegans died first.” – DonaldTrump
The tweet was accompanied by the hashtags #WhiteLivesMatter and #Disgraceful.
“Jim just got front row seats to Broadway’s shit musical ‘Adolph Twitler: The Fuckface von Clownstick Story’
None of our anchors can say “Trump” without vomiting.
The package was a 6 foot tall, gold-plated cube that weighed nearly 3.5 tons.
“If all of this goes according to their godless plan, the Korean Water Ghosts will force us to follow their cultural views or be killed.”
Presidential Alerts cannot be turned off on mobile phones.
“It appears that he was not remotely aware of the situation and still probably isn’t.”
“The president had been taking Viagra six times a day – one pill with every meal.” – Rudy Giuliani
“I make great deals, okay? This deal is really phenomenal on the surface. It’s a wonderful, superficial deal,” Trump said.
Melania’s emails have been released to the public in an act of transparency.
The masterpiece will be placed in the Smithsonian National Museum and is being regarded as an important artistic representation of modern day America.
Nigerian fans brought 2,500 colorfully-painted, live chickens into Russia’s Kaliningrad Stadium.
Trump intended to nominate Mark McKinney who plays the role of Glenn Sturgis in NBC’s ‘Superstore’.
‘MAGA’ is a unisex perfume boasting liquefied $100 bills as a key ingredient.
The amount of marijuana that Mr. Sessions consumes on a daily basis is staggering.
This was a direct response to outcry from PETA regarding changes in Alaskan hunting regulations which would…
Obama suggests Trump could have avoided many scandals with one trick.
A painting by President George W. Bush shows his prediction of the future.
“Those familiar with the Bible will immediately know that this is The Mark of the Beast,” stated Carson while steepling his fingers and arching his eyebrows.
“We estimate that the president stopped caring about the English language at, or around, the 4th grade.”
Law now outlaws sale of guns in America.
The president’s internal struggle has become quite tangible. #MindOverMatter
“Aggression toward the president grew incrementally,” said head ATRI researcher Kaito Nakamura.
“Mitch insists on having mayonnaise in every single meal he eats.”