Moms are taking first day of school photos to mail to distant relatives for some reason

Unfettered by the conventions of social media and email, suburban Moms across the country snapped pictures of their kids’ first day of school to mail to every relative they can think of; making this the only known scenario in which mailing photos of underage children to strangers isn’t illegal. Photo credit Lesley Show Advertisements


Countless Students Spot Their Teachers Stocking Up On Franzia Boxed Wine & Antidepressants in Preparation for the School Year


Teachers get ready for another underfunded school year full of ADHD and mass shootings.

Yes, There’s a Parallel Universe Where You Aren’t a Total Piece of Shit


“You can rest assured that somewhere, in an existing but undetectable universe, another version of you is out there having a meaningful, fulfilling life.”

Betsy DeVos Removes ‘Appreciation’ From National Teacher Appreciation Day


“At this point teachers must be making, what? $125 thousand a year and they won’t stop complaining?” DeVos stated. “We have to push back against these union thugs who are always striking.”

Eric Trump is Currently Locked in a Room That’s Being Pumped Full of Pollution


Mr. Cox has locked Eric Trump in the White House’s cold storage room next to the bowling alley in an attempt to show that air pollution does not harm humans.

Americans Shatter Book-Burning Record on Read Across America Day


“In retrospect, I picked the wrong book to read to them.” Louisiana Governor John Edwards stated. “I chose Seuss’ first published work The Pocket Book of Boners and by the time I finished reading the title all hell had broken loose.”