President Trump’s fourth remedial English tutor in three years has quit, citing irreconcilable differences regarding words, their accurate usage, how they are spelled and their correct pronunciation. “Mr. Trump may ‘have the best words,’ but they’re frequently made-up or misspelled,” former tutor Mason Thompson stated. “A teacher can’t watch their 73-year-old student insist that a goddamned apostrophe is a fucking hyphen and have any shred if dignity left.” President Trump took to Twitter to respond. Photo by G0h4r Advertisements
Unfettered by the conventions of social media and email, suburban Moms across the country snapped pictures of their kids’ first day of school to mail to every relative they can think of; making this the only known scenario in which mailing photos of underage children to strangers isn’t illegal. Photo credit Lesley Show
Teachers get ready for another underfunded school year full of ADHD and mass shootings.
“You can rest assured that somewhere, in an existing but undetectable universe, another version of you is out there having a meaningful, fulfilling life.”
“At this point teachers must be making, what? $125 thousand a year and they won’t stop complaining?” DeVos stated. “We have to push back against these union thugs who are always striking.”
Mr. Cox has locked Eric Trump in the White House’s cold storage room next to the bowling alley in an attempt to show that air pollution does not harm humans.