“What better way to show that the United States is a Christian nation than by celebrating Jesus’ crucifixion on America’s birthday!?” – President Donald J. Trump
Authorities have confirmed that Y’all-Qaeda leadership has ties to a Mississippi terror cell referred to as Talabangelicals who are also complete [expletive].
“I’ll be watching the donation basket like a hawk as it goes around. You toss a $20 in there and you better believe I’m throwing a few extra sassy swings in your direction during the pot parade.”
“You won’t hear about this, but I burned down the Notre Dame Cathedral,” Beck confirmed live on Fox & Friends. “This was France’s 9/11 and if I weren’t there to see it firsthand, you’d never know it was me: Glenn Beck, a casual, disposable, everyday Islamic terrorist.”
Pope Francis’ adult book is entitled ‘The Divinci Load.’
“If you’re banned you’ll be relocated to a garbage island off the coast of New Jersey.” – Nancy Pelosi
“The $85 billion we save a year will go toward green energy, education, infrastructure and ending homelessness in America.”
“The goal here is to analyze the memory-erasing technology used in the film and then build, disperse and use the devices in every congregation around the world,” Pope Francis stated.
“I’d be fine if Americans just recited half of the Pledge of Allegiance and then carried on with school or whatever.” – Trump
“Americans can expect to see Christmas decorations in stores for around 5 to 6 months out of the year.”
“Starbucks will now be using cups with the following messages and designs instead of the happy holidays ones…”
“He’s found a loophole here and it’s simply stunning.” – Rudy Giuliani
“We should always be looking up to God before going down to worship,” said Francis.
“Those familiar with the Bible will immediately know that this is The Mark of the Beast,” stated Carson while steepling his fingers and arching his eyebrows.
The world’s top U.S. whiskey gets an ‘offensive’ marketing overhaul.
“Look people, this is ludicrous, Jesus was a white man,” said Kelly.
Trump tweeted and gave approval for the TSA to ban all passengers from flying if they dress like the suspect who is now in detainment.
Tallest first lady ever lifts President Obama in famous tradition.
(Boston, MA) In what can only be called shocking, Massachusetts legislators have passed a law that bans homophobic people from using bathrooms. The law, which will take effect on Monday, has some people – for lack of a better term – pissed off.
In a recent video released by the terrorist group ISIS, leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi made a heartfelt, and seemingly confused, yet angry call for action. The terror leader – who was clearly distraught – pretty much yelled at other Muslims, while breaking down and having (for lack of better words) a hissy fit. Here is […]
There are many different types of grandmothers out there – some are kind, crazy, cheerful, angry, thoughtful, or just incredibly confused. Here are the 10 signs that you may be a sassy grandma:
1.) You aren’t ashamed if you poop yourself in…
“On Thursday Pastor Laurie’s utterances were fulfilled by the overreaching hands of the United States Government. It wasn’t Obama taking our guns, it wasn’t Sharia Law taking over OUR country, and it wasn’t another government program to help the poor or sick… it was…”
Many are distraught and and deeply concerned after Pope Francis announced late Monday that he would be the very last Pope. The message, which has left many people feeling
“I will be abstaining from the locker room, and football i guess, for awhile because God spoke to me and told me that I should stop doing what I’m doing,” said Wilson. ” I told God right then and there that I would..
The Pope’s admission of cannabis usage understandably resulted in many follow-up questions. Lauren Green, Chief Religion Correspondent for the Fox News Channel, asked Pope Francis why he felt that he was “in any position to speak against so-called ‘modern capitalism’.”
Devout Christians Robert and Denise Ferraro of Naperville, Illinois say that they began forgetting that Christ had anything to do with Christmas when their 10-year-old daughter Cindy came home from public school last December and told them that she had…
This surprising move by Dawkins was nothing short of shocking as he has repeatedly made fun of those with religious beliefs for years. In the interview, Dawkins reportedly stated the following:
The awkward exchange began when Chief Justice Roberts asked famed gay rights lawyer Mary Bonauto why she believed that we should “force churches and religious leaders to preside over a homosexual wedding that, when taken as a whole, would offend their moral conscience.”