Elon Musk Writes New Version of Elton John’s ‘Rocket Man’ After Iconic Musician Leaves Twitter

Shortly after famous signer-songwriter Elton John announced his departure from Twitter, Elon Musk said he wrote a “new, personal, and introspective version” of the musician’s hit song ‘Rocket Man’ as sung from Elon’s perspective. Here are the lyrics and accompanying … Continue reading Elon Musk Writes New Version of Elton John’s ‘Rocket Man’ After Iconic Musician Leaves Twitter

Jeff Bezos: ‘If Elon Musk Really Cares So Much About Humanity Why Does He Keep The Secret To Hair Regrowth To Himself?’

The ongoing feud between Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos took a strange and personal turn today when Bezos posted a tweet questioning Musk’s philanthropy and clearly implying that the Tesla CEO doesn’t do nearly as much as he could to … Continue reading Jeff Bezos: ‘If Elon Musk Really Cares So Much About Humanity Why Does He Keep The Secret To Hair Regrowth To Himself?’

Melania Trump Cries Tears Of Joy After Learning Prenup Doesn’t Require Prison Visits

Melania Trump says she cried uncontrollably Thursday night after she read all 157 pages of her prenuptial agreement and realized that she will ever have to visit Donald once he goes to prison. When reached for comment, the former first … Continue reading Melania Trump Cries Tears Of Joy After Learning Prenup Doesn’t Require Prison Visits

Donda 2 Will Be In New File Format ‘.KIM’ That Can Only Be Read By Kanye’s Stem Device

Kanye West revealed today that his upcoming album Donda 2 will be released in an all-new file format that Ye says he himself invented. “It’s called ‘.K-I-M’ and you spell it out when you say it,” Kanye stated. “Don’t call … Continue reading Donda 2 Will Be In New File Format ‘.KIM’ That Can Only Be Read By Kanye’s Stem Device

tesla driver hit by starlink satellite already dead from nueralink implant and car exploding

Tesla Driver Hit By Falling Starlink Satellite Was Already Dead From Faulty Neuralink Implant & Car Exploding, Authorities Say

Authorities have determined that the Starlink satellite that fell directly onto a Tesla in Riverside, California last week was not the actual cause of death for the driver. “After investigation it is clear that the sole passenger was already dead … Continue reading Tesla Driver Hit By Falling Starlink Satellite Was Already Dead From Faulty Neuralink Implant & Car Exploding, Authorities Say

Bill Cosby Sang ‘Smooth Criminal’ While Dressed As A Mixed Drink On ‘The Masked Singer’

Fox’s upcoming season of The Masked Singer is losing its mystery and its fans as yet another contestant has been revealed. Actor and comedian Ken Jeong spilled the beans to TMZ about Bill Cosby being on the show after Jeong … Continue reading Bill Cosby Sang ‘Smooth Criminal’ While Dressed As A Mixed Drink On ‘The Masked Singer’

Kid Rock State Fairs Again

A Total Resurgence In Kid Rock’s Popularity Has Him Performing At State Fairs Again

Singer, songwriter, and rapper Kid Rock is seeing a shocking resurgence in popularity that’s launched him back into the spotlight for the first time in 15 years. Rock, who is now 51 years old, says he had no idea that … Continue reading A Total Resurgence In Kid Rock’s Popularity Has Him Performing At State Fairs Again

Nicki Minaj Farts Out Her Birthday Candles ‘To Avoid Spreading Covid’

While celebrating her birthday today, rapper, singer, and songwriter Nicki Minaj turned around, bent over and farted on her birthday cake in an odd effort to blow out the candles. Minaj moaned as she let out a long, wet one … Continue reading Nicki Minaj Farts Out Her Birthday Candles ‘To Avoid Spreading Covid’

Dave Chappelle, Kevin Hart & Louis C.K. All Grammy Nominated For ‘Most Cancelled’ Award

Famous comedians Dave Chappelle, Kevin Hart and Louis C.K. have all been Grammy nominated for the Most Cancelled award. The award, which is new this year, was created by the Grammy committee “to recognize how very real and unfair cancel … Continue reading Dave Chappelle, Kevin Hart & Louis C.K. All Grammy Nominated For ‘Most Cancelled’ Award

oprah winfrey party celebrating less white people

Oprah Throws Party To Celebrate 2020 census Showing Decline In White Population

The 2020 US Census came out today and it shows a decline in the white population for the first time since 1790. In response to the census news, Oprah Winfrey is reportedly celebrating with a huge party. Notably, Oprah had … Continue reading Oprah Throws Party To Celebrate 2020 census Showing Decline In White Population

Ellen Infects Entire Staff With COVID So She Can Keep Taping Show

Ellen Infects Entire Staff With COVID So She Can Keep Taping Show

Ellen DeGeneres told fans today that she has tested positive for COVID-19. Yet, in an effort to continue filming her famous “12 Days of Giveaways,” Ellen admits that she still went into work this morning without telling anyone her diagnosis … Continue reading Ellen Infects Entire Staff With COVID So She Can Keep Taping Show

Jerry Springer to Moderate next presidential debate

Jerry Springer to Moderate Next Presidential Debate With Steve Wilkos as Security

The next presidential debate has been officially rebranded as ‘The 2020 Presidential Debate With Jerry Springer,’ as the former TV show host and pseudo-celebrity is set to moderate. The Commission on Presidential Debates confirmed that the October 15th Miami debate … Continue reading Jerry Springer to Moderate Next Presidential Debate With Steve Wilkos as Security

Ben Roethlisberger, who is out for the NFL season, is now paired with Sean Spicer on Dancing With the Stars

Ben Roethlisberger and Sean Spicer will team up for the foreseeable future as partners on Dancing With the Stars. The two will be the first same-sex couple to hit the dance floor in 27 seasons. Despite the incredible height and … Continue reading Ben Roethlisberger, who is out for the NFL season, is now paired with Sean Spicer on Dancing With the Stars

ABC just cast everyone who’s left the Trump administration to fill next 24 seasons of Dancing With The Stars

ABC’s Dancing With The Stars announced today that they’ve cast of all 290 people who’ve left the Trump administration to fill the talent slots for the show’s next 24 seasons. Continue reading ABC just cast everyone who’s left the Trump administration to fill next 24 seasons of Dancing With The Stars

23andMe Discovers Gary Busey & Boris Johnson Are Trump’s Brothers

“Genetically-speaking the lineage has certain characteristics that really stand out; such as having categorically unpleasant hair and personalities.” – 23andMe CEO Anne Wojcicki Continue reading 23andMe Discovers Gary Busey & Boris Johnson Are Trump’s Brothers

Sarah McLachlan Passes The Curse of The Arms of The Angel on to Maelyn Jarmon Live on The Voice

Elders of the ASPCA materialized on stage. Cloaked in black hoods, they hovered and waited for Jarmon to sign their commercial contract in her own blood. Continue reading Sarah McLachlan Passes The Curse of The Arms of The Angel on to Maelyn Jarmon Live on The Voice