(McAllen, TX) In a complete reversal on prior stances, the Biden administration unveiled a plan today to finalize the US-Mexico border wall by utilizing a “strange and seemingly endless supply of discarded ladders” conveniently scattered near the existing barrier. Biden, … Continue reading Border Wall To Be Completed Using Unlimited Stock of Ladders Discarded Near Existing Wall
Florida gov. Ron DeSantis and Texas gov. Greg Abbott have both been charged for human sex trafficking after they orchestrated the shipment of migrants – that were only looking for help – across state lines for the sole purpose of … Continue reading FL & TX Governors Charged For Sex Trafficking After Shipping People Across State Lines In Order To Fuck Them
Over 600 pounds of deadly fentanyl was seized at the southern border last month, leaving many Republican leaders sick and angry as their dealers experienced severe supply chain issues. Members of the party were so deeply impacted and disoriented by … Continue reading GOP Livid, Going Through Withdrawals After 621 Pounds Of Fentanyl Seized At Border
The Biden White House is now under brutal scrutiny after Republicans have suddenly demanded that immigrants be treated more humanely until they can be “shipped back to whatever shithole country they came from.” The calls for humanitarian change comes despite … Continue reading Republicans Call For Humane Treatment Of Kids In Cages, Provided They’re Sent Back To ‘Shithole’ Countries They Came From
In a concerted effort to distance themselves from Donald Trump, a group of over 120 conservative politicians held a Zoom call this week to discuss creating a third party called ‘Republicans Against Trump’ (RATs). The party is described as “basically … Continue reading Mitch McConnell Touts His Newly-Formed Anti-Trump Party As ‘Far, Far Less Overtly Racist’
President Joe Biden signed an executive order today freeing up funding to build a massive moving walkway that will carry immigrants across the Mexico-United States border and into McAllen, Texas. Construction on the 112.7 mile long, $4.8 billion walkway will … Continue reading Biden Administration Building Massive Moving Walkway To Carry Immigrants Directly Into US
(Infographics provided by White House) They’re back from the dead! Big box store Toys ‘R’ Us, who declared bankruptcy just last year, has signed a $16 million deal to supply the US government with drones to police the northern border. … Continue reading Toys ‘R’ Us lands $16 million defense contract to monitor Canadian border with drones
In a gross oversight, the Trump White House has built a border wall completely encompassing the state of New Mexico. State Governor Michelle Grisham spoke out about the new enclosure. “The border wall progress that president Trump kept touting was … Continue reading White House denies accidentally constructing a wall around New Mexico
The Department of Justice’s annual white elephant gift exchange went horribly wrong this year when packages full of white supremacist paraphernalia arrived at the gathering. Attorney General William Barr says the error was an honest mistake. “Its pretty cut and … Continue reading AG Barr sent federal judges white supremacist themed gifts
“The words on that statue are welcoming to criminals and lowlifes.” Continue reading Trump: “We’re going to melt down the Statue of Liberty”
Disney’s remake of Home Alone, entitled ‘Home Alone: Siempre,’ will feature all Latino actors and a modern plot twist in which Kevin’s parents are taken by racist ICE agents who call themselves “The Wetback Bandits.” Kevin’s parents are deported to … Continue reading Disney’s remake of Home Alone depicts Kevin’s parents being taken by ICE
“The swirling rumors say that Melania refused to return to the White House for two weeks.” Continue reading Melania Trump Was Accidentally Deported
“There’s no room for every musky man to lie down on the concrete, so they have to get creative with the cuddling. It just looks like a great experience.” – Mike Pence Continue reading Mike Pence Pops a Boner During Visit to U.S. Concentration Camp
“America can’t take the tired, poor, huddled masses in without somewhere to put ’em.” Continue reading U.S. Unveils 5,000 Brand New Cages For Children on World Refugee Day
“If you’re banned you’ll be relocated to a garbage island off the coast of New Jersey.” – Nancy Pelosi Continue reading Breaking: Extremism Ban Passes US House & Senate
“Now, when I place Sajid in a crouching position behind me I’ll look for a confused expression on the president’s face. Soon thereafter – and here’s where it gets interesting – Sajid will pop out from behind me and…” Continue reading Democrats Will be Testing Trump’s Grasp of Object Permanence Tonight by Bringing Real People to The State of The Union Address
Early reports confirm Trump stars in the film as Ronald Klump, an “incredibly-relatable, African American Trump supporter who ventures on a mission to get Mexico to pay for the wall.” Continue reading Trump to Play Blackfaced ‘Ronald Klump’ Alongside Kanye West in Summer Blockbuster Movie
