All of the porn on the internet is being preserved in this Arctic cave

PornHub CEO Mike Zoffler and countless other companies from the industry have revealed that literally all of the legal pornography on the internet is being stored 375 feet under the Arctic ice in a remote location. Notably, there’s a global treaty to keep the area neutral during times of war; making it an ideal spot for post-apocolyptic release. Meanwhile doomsday preppers call the porn bunker an ideal spot for a massive orgy to repopulate the planet. “Honestly, this is all we’ve been getting ready for,” doomsday guru Aaron Ward stated. “He who survives the end of the world will possess the greatest treasure of all: free access to unlimited porn.” Notably the spank bank looks like something out of a movie, its entrance a phallic obelisk jutting high out of two blinding white orbs. It sparkles with glowing lights and is filled with decades worth of tissues, vibrators, every sex toy known to man, and copious amounts of lube. Advertisements

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Trump tells the tale of the Battle of The Bone Spurs on Veterans Day

YouReadyGrandma

In a morning news conference with reporters president Trump took the better part of an hour to share his own war story: The Battle of The Bone Spurs. “People were coming at me from left and right. Every angle folks, every angle,” Trump stated. “And just as the Enlisting Forces were about to take me captive, and likely kill me, because they’re killers these people; I evaded the enemy with a doctor’s note.” “So am I a hero?” Trump grinned while placing the Purple Heart around his own neck. “I don’t know. You tell me.”

Elderly Paratroopers Forcibly Removed From Senior Living & Dropped over France for 75th Anniversary of D-Day

YouReadyGrandma

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Leaked! White House Security Briefing Shows Insanity in Trump Administration

YouReadyGrandma

“It’s convoluted as [expletive]!” Senator Bernie Sanders stated. “The document obsesses over mechanical pencils and references outdated world news without context, but oddly enough everything ‘Trump’ now makes sense.”

Nationwide Removal of All Confederate Statues Begins as Participation Trophies are Sent to Grieving Southerners

YouReadyGrandma

Trump is trying to rectify the situation by sending Civil War participation trophies to his seething supporters.

Trump Threatens Italy as Florence Strikes Coast

“It appears that he was not remotely aware of the situation and still probably isn’t.”

Trump: ‘South Koreans Have Fired Japan Over Itself With a Nuclear Missile’

YouReadyGrandma

In an emotional response, U.S. President Donald Trump has tweeted a well-thought-out message to the world regarding the alarming missile launch today over Japan:

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