Strict ‘No Farting’ Policy Enforced in White House

President Donald Trump used a morning staff meeting today to address leaks that have plagued his administration since day one. In an impassioned speech, the President touched on many topics – concluding with the implementation of a strict ‘No Farting’ policy. The new White House rule was accidentally released to the media by Press Secretary…

Tragic Death Ends Trump Campaign

***BREAKING*** (Washington D.C.) The Republican National Committee is openly taking responsibility for the death of front runner presidential candidate Donald Trump. Speaker of the House, Paul Ryan, immediately spoke out about the decision to kill the candidate. “We feel a loss. There’s no doubt about it,” stated Ryan. “We have hundreds of thousands – millions…

Trump, Cruz Exchange Horrific Insults About Wives, Again

(New York, NY) It appears that the wife-bashing has returned to the Republican campaign for presidency with Donald Trump and Ted Cruz shooting a barrage of horrific insults back and forth. It all started with another tweet from Trump…

Chris Christie Banned From Debates Until He Can Gain Self-Awareness

Grossly obese Republican Presidential candidate and New Jersey Governor Chris Christie has been banned from further debates until he can become fully aware of both himself and the world around him. The ban, which was handed down by the Republican National Committee (RNC), came after he gave Air Force Brig. Gen. Michael Cunniff 90 days…