“Handies start at $18 and prices go up from there.”
“Americans can expect to see Christmas decorations in stores for around 5 to 6 months out of the year.”
A poll of 565 men has found that 82% did not believe mutual masturbation to be a homosexual act, with respondents expressing a sentiment that touching cock isn’t gay, but lips touching lips is gay – meaning that emotional intimacy is their real issue – not the dick. What do you think? Joshua O’brien: “If […]
We’re leaning toward ‘acting just like all of you fucking assholes.’
“Jim just got front row seats to Broadway’s shit musical ‘Adolph Twitler: The Fuckface von Clownstick Story’
“Honestly, I think we’re just going to move every piece of debris 10 feet to the right and see if that helps,” Long stated.
“Let’s just admit it, Mitch is such a basic bitch name.” – Senator Bitch McConnell
“It’s crazy to say it, but you almost wish they weren’t dead.”
“If enough of us do it, they can’t catch us all.”
Banana sales have increased by 27% in the United States.
“The first idea that it runs into is the decision that we go with.” – Secretary of Commerce Wilbur Ross
Nigerian fans brought 2,500 colorfully-painted, live chickens into Russia’s Kaliningrad Stadium.
Trump intended to nominate Mark McKinney who plays the role of Glenn Sturgis in NBC’s ‘Superstore’.
Those who take prescription drugs made by Pfizer will not be able to notice the difference.
Sarah Huckabee Sanders would neither confirm nor deny the claims.
The amount of marijuana that Mr. Sessions consumes on a daily basis is staggering.
This was a direct response to outcry from PETA regarding changes in Alaskan hunting regulations which would…
“Americans will become more honest and open about sex, sexual education, and hardcore sexual domination,” Cornell said while rubbing his ‘itchy nipples’.
It is not uncommon for Bear Cubs (scouts as young as 8 or 9 years old) to leave their families for a better life in the forest.
“Steve and Tim will hold hands, and sometimes even kiss,” laughed Earhardt.
The president’s internal struggle has become quite tangible. #MindOverMatter
Samsung Soft: Televisions You Can Beat the Living **** Out Of.
“I wouldn’t necessarily call it cheating. That’s not the correct wording,” said Bilichick.
The visually impaired are suddenly excelling at winter sports and scientists want to know why.
“I absolutely loathe flu season,” stated Comcast CEO Brian L. Roberts.
‘Bananons,’ will be infused with Everclear grain alcohol which…
“As the Supreme Court of Alabama is the highest court in America, we will be continuing our fight on another path.”
“I’m going to be SO transparent that you will be like: ‘Hey! Where is he? Where did Donald go!?’
Our thoughts and prayers go out to everyone who wants to purchase more military-grade weapons.