Conservatives Remember the Time When a Contagious Rosa Parks Boarded a Bus With an AR-15 and Confederate Flag and Coughed All Over Everything

YouReadyGrandma

Today, conservatives across the country gathered to remember the time in 1955 that civil rights hero Rosa Parks boarded an Alabama bus with an AR-15 and a confederate flag while visibly sick with the whooping cough. “Miss Parks was the first person with the guts to stand up and say, ‘I don’t care whether or not I’m sick, fuck you guys, I’m riding the goddamned bus!’” White House economic advisor Stephen Moore stated. “What we are seeing today is no different.” Indeed, from coast to coast countless mentally – and likely physically – sick Americans rallied together in direct defiance of medical experts and official state government orders to stay at home and practice social distancing. “The people we are seeing outside during this pandemic are the civil rights leaders of today. Like Rosa Parks, they would rather be arrested than willingly surrender their rights and liberties,” Moore stated. “I’m certain that their bravery will lead to a nationwide change as their defiance is already contagious. You can’t deny that something is spreading here in America.” Advertisements

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Breaking: ‘Mother-Pence 2020’ Campaign Signs Spotted in Pence Family Home Garage

YouReadyGrandma

After following Mike Pence home Sunday night to ask questions about the impeachment hearings, field reporters from FOX News saw something much, much more interesting in the Vice President’s garage: a ‘Mother-Pence 2020’ banner along with several campaign yard signs. Notably, the campaign materials in question have retained the ‘MAGA’ slogan, but repurposed the acronym to stand for “Make All the Gays go Away.” Return Home Take me to the MEMES!

Ted Cruz fights bill banning members of Congress from watching porn at work

The bill was expected to pass unanimously, but has turned into an inexplicable, one-man filibuster by Ted Cruz.

Officials warn liberals that a 2nd active Koch Brother is still at large

YouReadyGrandma

Those on the left are being told to stay indoors after public officials warned of a second active Koch brother. “Although one threat has been neutralized, there’s still another bad man reeking havoc on the country,” Joe Biden stated. The second brother has been identified as Charles G. Koch and is considered by authorities to be armed and cantankerous. “We could pass laws to protect ourselves from people like the Koch brothers, but that would require effort. So we’ll just wait for that old bastard to die,” a 76 year old Joe Biden stated. Artwork by DonkeyHotey

Republicans Blame Parkinson’s For Racial Gerrymandering After Ban By Supreme Court

YouReadyGrandma

Deliberately drawing zigzagging lines around all the white people will no longer be an option.

Trump Explains Why He Hasn’t Made a Homophobic Nickname For Pete Buttigieg, Yet

“When I think of something, you better believe I’m going to go right up to him, get right on Peter and really ride him. Just unload on him with everything I’ve got – and I’ve got a lot. Just ask Melania. I’ve been trying to finish for quite a while, and when I do it’s going to feel great folks. Just great.”

Betsy DeVos Removes ‘Appreciation’ From National Teacher Appreciation Day

“At this point teachers must be making, what? $125 thousand a year and they won’t stop complaining?” DeVos stated. “We have to push back against these union thugs who are always striking.”

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