Incapable Of Rational Thought, Man Says His Life Is Hard Too, So Privilege Can’t Possibly Exist

Brookfield, WI – Incapable of rational thought, local straight, white, able-bodied, Christian man Alan Richmond says that because his life has been hard too, it means that privilege cannot possibly exist. Experts are saying that Richmond is a very common … Continue reading Incapable Of Rational Thought, Man Says His Life Is Hard Too, So Privilege Can’t Possibly Exist

China Gives Olympic Athletes Condoms & Tells Them To Avoid Physical Contact Such As ‘Hugs, High-Fives & Handshakes’

The Beijing Winter Olympics is set to run under very strict social distancing rules in order to stop the games from becoming a super-spreader event. Because of this, athletes are being told to avoid hugging, high-fives, and handshakes at all … Continue reading China Gives Olympic Athletes Condoms & Tells Them To Avoid Physical Contact Such As ‘Hugs, High-Fives & Handshakes’

Fast food restaurants back to being fully staffed after only fans bans sexual content

Fast Food Restaurants Back To Being Fully-Staffed After Only Fans Bans Sexual Content

Fast food restaurants are fully-staffed once again after popular porn site Only Fans announced today that it will no longer be allowing sexual content on their platform. Here’s what people are saying: McDonald’s photo credit Paul Sableman Continue reading Fast Food Restaurants Back To Being Fully-Staffed After Only Fans Bans Sexual Content

anti sex cardboard beds installed in olympic village

‘Anti-Sex’ Cardboard Beds Installed In Olympic Village To Prevent Athletes From Having Intercourse

The Tokyo Olympics are providing athletes who will stay in the Olympic Village with cardboard beds that many say are designed to discourage sex. The beds, which can handle up to 400 pounds of pressure, are certainly not made for … Continue reading ‘Anti-Sex’ Cardboard Beds Installed In Olympic Village To Prevent Athletes From Having Intercourse

Bill Cosby's Release Completely Restores Nation's Lack Of Faith In Justice System

Bill Cosby’s Release Completely Restores Nation’s Lack Of Faith In Justice System

Bill Cosby is now a free man after it was announced that a Pennsylvania judge had overturned his conviction this week. Once word had spread, the news completely destroyed what little bit of faith Americans had just begun to feel … Continue reading Bill Cosby’s Release Completely Restores Nation’s Lack Of Faith In Justice System

Sir David Attenborough narrates own birthday sex

Sir David Attenborough Films Own Birthday Sex & Adds Narration For Upcoming Biopic

English broadcaster and natural historian Sir David Attenborough has a new biopic coming out next year and he’s not pulling any punches. Reportedly, Attenborough was overheard today talking about how he had just finished filming birthday sex for the documentary. … Continue reading Sir David Attenborough Films Own Birthday Sex & Adds Narration For Upcoming Biopic

Just one more and then ill stop sweaty matt gaetz whispers before sending venmo payment

‘Just One More & Then I’ll Stop’ Sweaty Matt Gaetz Whispers To Himself Before Pressing Pay On Venmo

After realizing that his Republican colleagues were not going to do anything to stop him, a nervous Matt Gaetz worked up the courage today to send a $900 Venmo payment to his longtime friend and fellow alleged sexual predator Joel … Continue reading ‘Just One More & Then I’ll Stop’ Sweaty Matt Gaetz Whispers To Himself Before Pressing Pay On Venmo

Porn hub deletes 60 percent of videos in huge move to rid site of your mom

Pornhub Deletes 60% Of Its Videos In Huge Move To Rid Site Of Your Mom

Citing a “total lack of interest” along with a “universal disgust” in her videos, Canadian-owned pornography website Pornhub announced today that they had removed every single upload featuring your mom. Pornhub confirmed that their site had “become infested with horrifying … Continue reading Pornhub Deletes 60% Of Its Videos In Huge Move To Rid Site Of Your Mom

Karen Pence Insists on Sitting Between Mike Pence & Kamala Harris on Debate Stage

Karen Pence says she will only allow her husband to debate Kamala Harris if she can sit on stage between the two candidates and “make sure that Mike doesn’t give in to sexual temptations.” Shortly after the news broke, Joe … Continue reading Karen Pence Insists on Sitting Between Mike Pence & Kamala Harris on Debate Stage

Epstein digs up and hangs himself again after cemetery night watchmen forget to monitor his tomb

Epstein digs up and hangs himself again after cemetery night watchmen forget to monitor his burial site

The corpse of deceased convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein was found hanging in a tree outside of his mausoleum in Loxahatchee, Florida this morning. Authorities investigating the incident say that two night watchmen on duty last night failed to make … Continue reading Epstein digs up and hangs himself again after cemetery night watchmen forget to monitor his burial site

Melania Avoids Donald After Learning ‘Sex With Demons Causes Disease’

President Trump shared a video on Twitter yesterday featuring a doctor named Stella Immanuel who claimed that she’s cured COVID-19 with hydroxychloroquine. Within minutes of posting the video, it was revealed that Dr. Immanuel also believes that having sexual intercourse … Continue reading Melania Avoids Donald After Learning ‘Sex With Demons Causes Disease’

AARP Poll Ranks Biden as Being ‘Decidedly More Fuckable’ Than Trump

The American Association of Retired People (AARP) released a new poll today revealing that, when forced to choose, 87% of Americans over 50 would prefer to have sex with Joe Biden over Donald Trump. Reasons cited by the more than … Continue reading AARP Poll Ranks Biden as Being ‘Decidedly More Fuckable’ Than Trump