Un-Holy Cow! Chick-fil-A ads get dirty after KFC introduces sexy Colonel Sanders

Fast food chains have lost their minds and Chick-fil-A is no exception. Just yesterday Kentucky Fried Chicken revealed a hot, young and sexy Colonel Sanders and now Chick-fil-A is putting it all on the table with its new “Eat Mor Ass.” campaign. “It’s pretty simple,” CEO Dan Cathy stated. “We tell people to lick each other’s buttholes and then those same people come and pay to eat our chicken. It doesn’t matter if it makes sense or not, sex sells!” Photo Credit Phillip Pessar, Mark Turnauckas, KFC Advertisements

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Medical Examiner rules Epstein’s death caused by asphyxiation during hot, gay prison sex

YouReadyGrandma

An official Medical Examiner report says that Jeffrey Epstein was strangled to death by a fellow inmate during incredibly hot, consensual erotic asphyxiation. “Although the two inmates did have a safe word, Epstein was unable to say it,” the report stated. “If he’d just managed to yell the phrase ‘help I’m being murdered’ this all could have been avoided.”

7 Reasons He’s Not Texting You Back, Jessica

YouReadyGrandma

From unexpected events to having no hands, here are the top reasons your man is avoiding you, Jessica.

Mike Pence, Other Furries Banned From All Chuck E. Cheese’s

YouReadyGrandma

“The children’s entertainment and pizza chain explicitly stated that Vice President Mike Pence will not be allowed inside after his furry tail butt plug incident months back.”

Target Adds BDSM Section Next to Electronics

YouReadyGrandma

In response, Sam’s Club announced they will be selling “everything necessary to create an elaborate sex dungeon” by July.

US Dept. Of Health: ‘Never Stick Anything Larger than a Grapefruit Up Your Butt’

YouReadyGrandma

“Remember, we’re only talking about girth. So if you wanted to tape 7 oversized grapefruits together and play hide the citrus in your [expletive], you could absolutely do that.” Secretary Alex Azar stated.

Elizabeth Warren Says She’ll Divorce Her Husband and Marry a Woman to Win the Presidency

YouReadyGrandma

Elizabeth Warren announced today at a campaign rally that she is “ready and willing” to divorce her husband of 39 years and marry her “lifelong best friend Barb.”

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