“He didn’t know that whales were real and he is unreasonably terrified of them.”
“Americans can expect to see Christmas decorations in stores for around 5 to 6 months out of the year.”
A poll of 565 men has found that 82% did not believe mutual masturbation to be a homosexual act, with respondents expressing a sentiment that touching cock isn’t gay, but lips touching lips is gay – meaning that emotional intimacy is their real issue – not the dick. What do you think? Joshua O’brien: “If […]
Trump starts gagging and declares that ‘the golden juice went down the wrong pipe!’
We’re leaning toward ‘acting just like all of you fucking assholes.’
None of our anchors can say “Trump” without vomiting.
“If all of this goes according to their godless plan, the Korean Water Ghosts will force us to follow their cultural views or be killed.”
“It’s not like we’re asking them to carry our purses up there – although that would be ideal and hopefully it leads to that.”
“It appears that he was not remotely aware of the situation and still probably isn’t.”
“I make great deals, okay? This deal is really phenomenal on the surface. It’s a wonderful, superficial deal,” Trump said.
“The first idea that it runs into is the decision that we go with.” – Secretary of Commerce Wilbur Ross
Nigerian fans brought 2,500 colorfully-painted, live chickens into Russia’s Kaliningrad Stadium.
Those who take prescription drugs made by Pfizer will not be able to notice the difference.
Sarah Huckabee Sanders would neither confirm nor deny the claims.
This was a direct response to outcry from PETA regarding changes in Alaskan hunting regulations which would…
“We should always be looking up to God before going down to worship,” said Francis.
Obama suggests Trump could have avoided many scandals with one trick.
A painting by President George W. Bush shows his prediction of the future.
“Those familiar with the Bible will immediately know that this is The Mark of the Beast,” stated Carson while steepling his fingers and arching his eyebrows.
“This lengthy, intricate study was conducted by the folks at the Harvard Center for Brain Science and incorporated proven Penis Responsiveness Technology (PRT) and Brainwave Function Reading (BFR) from leading scientists from the Biomimetic Robotics Lab at MIT.”
“Now it will look like you want to pay attention to your baby.”
Obama was confronted while leaving a mosque.
“Aggression toward the president grew incrementally,” said head ATRI researcher Kaito Nakamura.
The visually impaired are suddenly excelling at winter sports and scientists want to know why.
“Look people, this is ludicrous, Jesus was a white man,” said Kelly.
The North Korean leader then flipped open a glass-encased red button, pressed it, and was immediately torn apart – along with the rest of his country – by a faulty nuclear missile.
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In a timely press release the Wright Brothers, who invented flight, said “This isn’t what we intended. We only overbooked as a joke when racist aunt Karen wanted to visit, and she wasn’t technically, completely white.” Thank you for reading our latest informative news article. Check out more stories below – or like our Facebook […]
Here are key ways to minimize the negative impact of such websites.
There is, in fact, a 5th hijacked plan from 9/11 that is still flying above our borders, with hostages. Let that sink in, because I know I had to as well. Let’s just pause to think about that.”