Category: gay
Lindsey Graham ‘Moans Like Mickey Mouse’ Several Gay Escorts Confirm
“Lindsey Graham was, hands down, easily the weirdest sex I have ever had.” Continue reading Lindsey Graham ‘Moans Like Mickey Mouse’ Several Gay Escorts Confirm
Chick-fil-A says they’ll stop exclusively killing and serving gay chickens
After decades or targeting the homosexual chicken community, Chick-fil-A says they’ll no longer actively source LGBTQ fowl to serve in their restaurants. The announcement comes as a shock to many, as the company had never mentioned the practice before. Meanwhile, … Continue reading Chick-fil-A says they’ll stop exclusively killing and serving gay chickens
Brave, Marginalized Heterosexuals Hold Pride Parades Across Nation
“They don’t even make laws for us! The gays can be fired in 26 states for being homosexual and we get nothing. It’s disgraceful!” Continue reading Brave, Marginalized Heterosexuals Hold Pride Parades Across Nation
Medical Examiner rules Epstein’s death caused by asphyxiation during hot, gay prison sex
An official Medical Examiner report says that Jeffrey Epstein was strangled to death by a fellow inmate during incredibly hot, consensual erotic asphyxiation. “Although the two inmates did have a safe word, Epstein was unable to say it,” the report … Continue reading Medical Examiner rules Epstein’s death caused by asphyxiation during hot, gay prison sex
Trump Explains Why He Hasn’t Made a Homophobic Nickname For Pete Buttigieg, Yet
“When I think of something, you better believe I’m going to go right up to him, get right on Peter and really ride him. Just unload on him with everything I’ve got – and I’ve got a lot. Just ask Melania. I’ve been trying to finish for quite a while, and when I do it’s going to feel great folks. Just great.” Continue reading Trump Explains Why He Hasn’t Made a Homophobic Nickname For Pete Buttigieg, Yet
Elizabeth Warren Recommends Changing Your Dreamcatcher Filter Every Spring
“My dreams became littered with terrifying sex monsters that attacked my lesbian lover Barb.” – Elizabeth Warren Continue reading Elizabeth Warren Recommends Changing Your Dreamcatcher Filter Every Spring
US Dept. Of Health: ‘Never Stick Anything Larger than a Grapefruit Up Your Butt’
“Remember, we’re only talking about girth. So if you wanted to tape 7 oversized grapefruits together and play hide the citrus in your [expletive], you could absolutely do that.” Secretary Alex Azar stated. Continue reading US Dept. Of Health: ‘Never Stick Anything Larger than a Grapefruit Up Your Butt’
Elizabeth Warren Says She’ll Divorce Her Husband and Marry a Woman to Win the Presidency
Elizabeth Warren announced today at a campaign rally that she is “ready and willing” to divorce her husband of 39 years and marry her “lifelong best friend Barb.” Continue reading Elizabeth Warren Says She’ll Divorce Her Husband and Marry a Woman to Win the Presidency
Over 100 Million Eggs Recalled on Easter Over Concerns They’re Making Kids Gay
“Eggland’s Best apologizes if we’ve torn apart any families because of our gay eggs.” Continue reading Over 100 Million Eggs Recalled on Easter Over Concerns They’re Making Kids Gay
Bill Gates Stars as Catwoman in Highly-Anticipated Film
“Gates oozes with a sultry sex appeal that culminates in a passionate, 12-minute lovemaking scene with the masked hero Batman who is played by Apple CEO Tim Cook.” Continue reading Bill Gates Stars as Catwoman in Highly-Anticipated Film
MLB Highlights “The Raw Sexual Tension of Baseball” on Opening Day
“Most of the leathery, ball-related action on the field actually takes place in the players’ jockstraps,” Commissioner Rob Manfred stated. Continue reading MLB Highlights “The Raw Sexual Tension of Baseball” on Opening Day
Elon Musk & The Rock Are Costarring in an Adult Film
“I pulled all of my investments in Elon’s companies halfway into the movie because I was certain he had been [expletive] to death.” Continue reading Elon Musk & The Rock Are Costarring in an Adult Film
Oblivious Mike Pence Wears Furry Tail to CPAC
An attempt to clue the Vice President in using his teleprompter backfired; resulting in Pence aggressively shouting “There’s a tail sticking out of your ass” in the middle of an impassioned speech on moral decay in America. Continue reading Oblivious Mike Pence Wears Furry Tail to CPAC
Senator Cory Booker & Elmo Remind Americans: “Despite Incredibly Hot Beard, Ted Cruz is Still a Douche”
Booker’s 15 minute ventriloquism act included a perfectly performed impersonation of Sesame Street’s best-known character. Continue reading Senator Cory Booker & Elmo Remind Americans: “Despite Incredibly Hot Beard, Ted Cruz is Still a Douche”
4 in 5 Men Think Masturbating With Another Man ‘Isn’t Gay’
A poll of 565 men has found that 82% did not believe mutual masturbation to be a homosexual act, with respondents expressing a sentiment that touching cock isn’t gay, but lips touching lips is gay – meaning that emotional intimacy … Continue reading 4 in 5 Men Think Masturbating With Another Man ‘Isn’t Gay’
Subaru Openly Markets Car Finish for Lesbians
Previously Subaru had used coded marketing tactics to reach lesbians. Continue reading Subaru Openly Markets Car Finish for Lesbians
Study: Millennials are the First Generation to Not View Pornography for the Plot Line
“These kids aren’t fully investing themselves in the vibrant artistic expression and riveting stories.” – Jane Meyers, Head of Stanford’s Sex & Gender Studies Continue reading Study: Millennials are the First Generation to Not View Pornography for the Plot Line