Chick-fil-A says they’ll stop exclusively killing and serving gay chickens

After decades or targeting the homosexual chicken community, Chick-fil-A says they’ll no longer actively source LGBTQ fowl to serve in their restaurants. The announcement comes as a shock to many, as the company had never mentioned the practice before. Meanwhile, the news has sparked outrage among the religious right who now have to come to terms with the fact that they’ve repeatedly put homosexual flesh inside of their mouths and swallowed every single time. Advertisements

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Brave, Marginalized Heterosexuals Hold Pride Parades Across Nation

YouReadyGrandma

“They don’t even make laws for us! The gays can be fired in 26 states for being homosexual and we get nothing. It’s disgraceful!”

Medical Examiner rules Epstein’s death caused by asphyxiation during hot, gay prison sex

YouReadyGrandma

An official Medical Examiner report says that Jeffrey Epstein was strangled to death by a fellow inmate during incredibly hot, consensual erotic asphyxiation. “Although the two inmates did have a safe word, Epstein was unable to say it,” the report stated. “If he’d just managed to yell the phrase ‘help I’m being murdered’ this all could have been avoided.”

Trump Explains Why He Hasn’t Made a Homophobic Nickname For Pete Buttigieg, Yet

YouReadyGrandma

“When I think of something, you better believe I’m going to go right up to him, get right on Peter and really ride him. Just unload on him with everything I’ve got – and I’ve got a lot. Just ask Melania. I’ve been trying to finish for quite a while, and when I do it’s going to feel great folks. Just great.”

Elizabeth Warren Recommends Changing Your Dreamcatcher Filter Every Spring

YouReadyGrandma

“My dreams became littered with terrifying sex monsters that attacked my lesbian lover Barb.” – Elizabeth Warren

US Dept. Of Health: ‘Never Stick Anything Larger than a Grapefruit Up Your Butt’

YouReadyGrandma

“Remember, we’re only talking about girth. So if you wanted to tape 7 oversized grapefruits together and play hide the citrus in your [expletive], you could absolutely do that.” Secretary Alex Azar stated.

Elizabeth Warren Says She’ll Divorce Her Husband and Marry a Woman to Win the Presidency

YouReadyGrandma

Elizabeth Warren announced today at a campaign rally that she is “ready and willing” to divorce her husband of 39 years and marry her “lifelong best friend Barb.”

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