Furries rejoice as Birkenstock announces Furkenstock sandals

YouReadyGrandma

The new line of sandals will come in 7 species options and be released in about one dog year.

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Mike Pence, Other Furries Banned From All Chuck E. Cheese’s

YouReadyGrandma

“The children’s entertainment and pizza chain explicitly stated that Vice President Mike Pence will not be allowed inside after his furry tail butt plug incident months back.”

Bull Sperm Milkshake Sales Are Booming in Wisconsin

YouReadyGrandma

“Farmers are counting themselves lucky that residents will eat anything.”

Southwest Airline’s ‘Take Your Snake to Work Day’ Backfires Horribly

YouReadyGrandma

“We’re asking that all passengers take a look in overhead storage and under their seats to avoid crushing the reptiles and to assist in their capture.”

North West’s Pet Hamster Kills Itself After Being Stuck With Kim Kardashian for Two Hours

YouReadyGrandma

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New York’s Streets Run Red With Blood After State Bans Cat Declawing

YouReadyGrandma

“It’s sheer chaos,” New York Governor Andrew Cuomo stated. “Our pussies have gone mad with power.”

Sarah McLachlan Passes The Curse of The Arms of The Angel on to Maelyn Jarmon Live on The Voice

YouReadyGrandma

Elders of the ASPCA materialized on stage. Cloaked in black hoods, they hovered and waited for Jarmon to sign their commercial contract in her own blood.