A wild beaver somehow managed to sneak into one of Elizabeth Warren’s campaign headquarters and corner the presidential front runner for over four hours this morning. Warren says she’s doing fine and that this wasn’t her first encounter with a beaver. “I’ve done my fair share of experimenting in college,” Warren smiled. “It’s gonna take a lot more than a beaver to get me rattled. Don’t threaten me with a good time!” Advertisements
The new line of sandals will come in 7 species options and be released in about one dog year.
“The children’s entertainment and pizza chain explicitly stated that Vice President Mike Pence will not be allowed inside after his furry tail butt plug incident months back.”
“Farmers are counting themselves lucky that residents will eat anything.”
“We’re asking that all passengers take a look in overhead storage and under their seats to avoid crushing the reptiles and to assist in their capture.”
“It’s sheer chaos,” New York Governor Andrew Cuomo stated. “Our pussies have gone mad with power.”