Melania Trump says she cried uncontrollably Thursday night after she read all 157 pages of her prenuptial agreement and realized that she will ever have to visit Donald once he goes to prison. When reached for comment, the former first … Continue reading Melania Trump Cries Tears Of Joy After Learning Prenup Doesn’t Require Prison Visits
In a shocking move today, First Lady Melania Trump announced that her ‘Be Best’ program against bullying has reached its surprise, final phase: voting Donald Trump out of office. “My fellow Americans. The time has come to teach the biggest … Continue reading First Lady Announces Final Phase of ‘Be Best’ Program is Voting Donald Trump Out of Office
President Trump shared a video on Twitter yesterday featuring a doctor named Stella Immanuel who claimed that she’s cured COVID-19 with hydroxychloroquine. Within minutes of posting the video, it was revealed that Dr. Immanuel also believes that having sexual intercourse … Continue reading Melania Avoids Donald After Learning ‘Sex With Demons Causes Disease’
Melania Trump celebrated her 50th birthday today, bringing her one year closer to being released from the marriage contract she signed with husband Donald Trump in 2005. The First Lady, who inked a 20-year agreement with the president, is now … Continue reading Melania Trump One Year Closer to Aging Out of Marriage Contract
Slovenian gold digger Melania Trump apologized to the world today for her mentally-inferior husband and his repeated dog whistle of calling COVID-19 “The Chinese Virus”. “I do pretend to love Donald deeply. But I cannot, with what remaining conscience I … Continue reading Slovenian Gold Digger Apologizes For Husband Calling COVID-19 “The Chinese Virus”
The Trump administration announced today that pills filled with shredded money have been added to the official USDA Nutrition Plate at the request of Melania Trump. The First Lady says the president needs to ingest 16 of the money pills … Continue reading Melania Trump forces ‘money pills’ onto the USDA Nutrition Plate
In a more than concerning display, President Trump live tweeted his bowel movement from the Oval Office toilet early this morning. Continue reading President Trump live tweets “Greatest Dump Ever” from Oval Office toilet
“Donald J. Trump is up for Best Performance in a Comedy Series that lasts for one term or less.” Continue reading Trump White House Nominated for Multiple Emmys, Including Best Limited Series
“An investigation will show Melania’s knockers were implanted by the Russians to spy on our great nation.” Continue reading President Jimmy Carter Says Melania Trump’s Boobs Were Put In Place By The Russians
Democrats are trying to persuade Melania Trump to bring the president to mindblowing climax. Continue reading Democrats Are Lobbying Melania Trump to Have Sex With the President
Melania’s emails have been released to the public in an act of transparency. Continue reading Melania Trump Had Secret Meeting With Divorce Lawyers Regarding Russian Adoptions
