Melania Trump Cries Tears Of Joy After Learning Prenup Doesn’t Require Prison Visits

Melania Trump says she cried uncontrollably Thursday night after she read all 157 pages of her prenuptial agreement and realized that she will ever have to visit Donald once he goes to prison. When reached for comment, the former first … Continue reading Melania Trump Cries Tears Of Joy After Learning Prenup Doesn’t Require Prison Visits

First Lady Announces Final Phase of ‘Be Best’ Program is Voting Donald Trump Out of Office

In a shocking move today, First Lady Melania Trump announced that her ‘Be Best’ program against bullying has reached its surprise, final phase: voting Donald Trump out of office. “My fellow Americans. The time has come to teach the biggest … Continue reading First Lady Announces Final Phase of ‘Be Best’ Program is Voting Donald Trump Out of Office

Melania Avoids Donald After Learning ‘Sex With Demons Causes Disease’

President Trump shared a video on Twitter yesterday featuring a doctor named Stella Immanuel who claimed that she’s cured COVID-19 with hydroxychloroquine. Within minutes of posting the video, it was revealed that Dr. Immanuel also believes that having sexual intercourse … Continue reading Melania Avoids Donald After Learning ‘Sex With Demons Causes Disease’

Melania Trump One Year Closer to Aging Out of Marriage Contract

Melania Trump celebrated her 50th birthday today, bringing her one year closer to being released from the marriage contract she signed with husband Donald Trump in 2005. The First Lady, who inked a 20-year agreement with the president, is now … Continue reading Melania Trump One Year Closer to Aging Out of Marriage Contract

Slovenian Gold Digger Apologizes For Husband Calling COVID-19 “The Chinese Virus”

Slovenian gold digger Melania Trump apologized to the world today for her mentally-inferior husband and his repeated dog whistle of calling COVID-19 “The Chinese Virus”. “I do pretend to love Donald deeply. But I cannot, with what remaining conscience I … Continue reading Slovenian Gold Digger Apologizes For Husband Calling COVID-19 “The Chinese Virus”

Melania Trump forces ‘money pills’ onto the USDA Nutrition Plate

The Trump administration announced today that pills filled with shredded money have been added to the official USDA Nutrition Plate at the request of Melania Trump. The First Lady says the president needs to ingest 16 of the money pills … Continue reading Melania Trump forces ‘money pills’ onto the USDA Nutrition Plate