“The Hall of Fam is like the silver medal for personal achievement. It’s meant for the guys that are a tad better than just okay.”
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Football
Patriots Owner Caught in Massive Cheese-Fetish Pornography Ring
“I permanently cut cheese out of my diet,” police officer Damien Stephens stated. “If you’ve never seen a ‘Kraft Singles Cheese Queef Shower,’ I recommend that you keep it that way.”
South Carolina Gov. Will Fart National Anthem at Super Bowl
South Carolina Governor Henry McMaster announced today that he will be performing the national anthem before the Super Bowl utilizing only his anus. Known for being outspoken – having demanded that everyone stand for the national anthem – McMaster says he’s been practicing for years and can ‘hit every note, low and high.’ In response to public outcry McMaster said that farting the national anthem is simply an expression of his First Amendment rights. (Article continues below image) “I firmly believe we can all stand and respect the flag during the national anthem – no matter where you come from, where the sound is coming from, or what that may smell like,” McMaster Return Home Take me to the MEMES!
‘Months of Pegging’ Needed for Brady to Overcome Super Bowl Loss
“The last time that Tom was this upset was after the 31-0 loss to the Bills in 2003.”
Tom Brady on Super Bowl: ‘I Plan to Cheat Again’
“I wouldn’t necessarily call it cheating. That’s not the correct wording,” said Bilichick.
Packers Will Try Out All-Male Cheerleading Squad in Upcoming Season
“This move to male cheerleaders is a conscious effort to push back against female objectific…”
Patriots Players Accuse Tom Brady of Sexual Misconduct
Brady will be given a locker farther away from other players.