The US government is trying to decide between nuking San Francisco or outer space

YouReadyGrandma

“First and foremost, we must blow up the nukes to make sure that no one gets their hands on them.” – President Trump

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Annoyed Robert Mueller Snaps: “Oh My God, Just Impeach the Bastard Already!”

YouReadyGrandma

“Holy hell! C’mon people. Do I need to spell it out for you!?” – Robert Mueller

President Jimmy Carter Says Melania Trump’s Boobs Were Put In Place By The Russians

“An investigation will show Melania’s knockers were implanted by the Russians to spy on our great nation.”

Trapped & Furious: Dead Robert Mueller Can’t Cross Over to Spirit Realm Until Barr Releases Full Report

YouReadyGrandma

The former FBI Director enrolled in a pottery class Anderson Cooper attends in an attempt to get him to sit in between his legs while whispering key findings in his ear.

Mueller Report Says President Trump has a Severe Flatulence Problem

YouReadyGrandma

“It’s not uncommon for the President to fart himself awake. Then, when he can’t fall back asleep, Mr. Trump passes the time on Twitter.”

Breaking: ‘Mother-Pence 2020’ Campaign Signs Spotted in Mike Pence’s Garage

YouReadyGrandma

The campaign materials in question have retained the ‘MAGA’ slogan, but repurposed the acronym to mean “Make All the Gays go Away.”

Mueller: Gay Tryst, Pee Tape Emerged From Investigation

YouReadyGrandma

Trump starts gagging and declares that ‘the golden juice went down the wrong pipe!’