AX-570 android “Barron Trump” returned to a Japanese factory after malfunction causes it to attack

YouReadyGrandma

“As the AX-570 android referred to as “Barron” appeared to grow in its capacity to feel, perceive, and experience subjectivity, the android’s aggression toward president Trump grew exponentially.”

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Trump Signs Executive Order Moving Christmas to the 4th of July

YouReadyGrandma

“What better way to show that the United States is a Christian nation than by celebrating Jesus’ crucifixion on America’s birthday!?” – President Donald J. Trump

Sarah Sanders: “Memorial Day is a Republican Holiday”

YouReadyGrandma

“Patriotism, the military, and war are all inherently republican. We own them,” Sanders stated.

Over 100 Million Eggs Recalled on Easter Over Concerns They’re Making Kids Gay

YouReadyGrandma

“Eggland’s Best apologizes if we’ve torn apart any families because of our gay eggs.”

Green Chicago River Full of Vomit by 10 AM

YouReadyGrandma

“We’re just going to burn the alcohol-laced vomit off like every year, that’s where the city gets its signature smell.” – Chicago Gov. J.B. Pritzker

President Trump Announces Massive 4th of July Celebration for Liberals

YouReadyGrandma

“HOLD THE DATE! We will be having one of the largest gatherings in the history of Washington State,” Trump wrote. “There will be a rainbow of fireworks, the best drag queens – only the best – and the first ever reading of the US Constitution by your favorite President, me!”

Pope Francis Officially Moves Christmas 2019 to March

YouReadyGrandma

“Americans can expect to see Christmas decorations in stores for around 5 to 6 months out of the year.”

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