From unexpected events to having no hands, here are the top reasons your man is avoiding you, Jessica.
“The hardest part for candidates will be trying not to laugh at the very things they claim to find offensive.”
“We totally nixed three scenes where Dwayne Johnson would’ve been firing his gun at a bunch of hippos for absolutely no reason.”
“Overall, I’d give the movie 5-stars,” Kellner stated.
“Someone from that festival will be having an unwanted child that babbles bullshit for years; so when that happens, I highly recommend they name it Kanye.”
“Gates oozes with a sultry sex appeal that culminates in a passionate, 12-minute lovemaking scene with the masked hero Batman who is played by Apple CEO Tim Cook.”
“Most of the leathery, ball-related action on the field actually takes place in the players’ jockstraps,” Commissioner Rob Manfred stated.