A group of over 200 immunology experts from around the world released a letter today begging Americans to “keep a safe distance of at least six channels from Fox News.” The letter listed several reasons for for the warning. “Fox News has repeatedly misinformed its viewers on the facts surrounding the coronavirus. Today, an alarmingly high number of Fox News viewers believe that the COVID-19 death toll is falsely inflated, that opening the states back up prematurely won’t cause a second wave, and that face masks do not need to be worn.” The letter continued. “What’s more, the news channel advocated for the use of hydroxychloroquine; a drug that proved to increase mortality rates. This deadly reporting decision alone should be enough to question the news channel’s legitimacy. In fact, Fox News viewers are consistently found to be the least informed.” The letter concluded by recommending that viewers take a break from the channel and read up on what actual experts have been saying about COVID-19. “We’re not saying that CNN or MSNBC are perfect or without bias, we’re just letting Fox News viewers know that their main source of information is incredibly misleading and making this entire situation much, much worse,” the letter read. “Maybe try reading a reputable medical journal for once.” In response to the letter, Fox News personality Sean Hannity fired back calling the vast majority of scientists “liars and frauds,” stating that having an educational background and expertise in a subject “doesn’t mean that you know anything about anything.” “We can make stuff up too!” Hannity stated. “In fact we do it every single day.” Photo Credit Johnny Silvercloud Advertisements
A tweaked-out Laura Ingraham ended her show on FOX News last night by smoking copious amounts of methamphetamines at her desk. She then wandered off set and came zooming back with a cold steak, plastic straws, and lightbulbs from the men’s restroom. After taking a few more hits, the unhinged Ingraham started aggressively screwing incandescent lightbulbs into the meat before getting mad and repeatedly stabbing the bloody steak with straws. Click here to watch the video.
“None of them seemed phased by Carlson. It was like the [expletive] Twilight Zone.”
“It appears that he was not remotely aware of the situation and still probably isn’t.”
“Steve and Tim will hold hands, and sometimes even kiss,” laughed Earhardt.
“I hate to say this folks, but it’s to the point where we may have to make something up.”
***BREAKING*** (Washington D.C.) The Republican National Committee is openly taking responsibility for the death of front runner presidential candidate Donald Trump. Speaker of the House, Paul Ryan, immediately spoke out about the decision to kill the candidate. “We feel a loss. There’s no doubt about it,” stated Ryan. “We have hundreds of thousands – millions maybe – of people that support our party. Naturally, we cannot take the shooting of Donald lightly, but you have to understand that we cannot take a risk with someone like him. There’s no way to get the country back from such a gorilla of a man,” stated Ryan. “That being said, we are very happy that the country will be okay. Sure, the Monday morning quarterbacks are going to have opinions, but these are hard calls and the safety of the country is paramount,” said Ryan. Speaker Ryan then concluded his statement on MSNBC, “Overall, it was a terrible, tragic occurrence, much like his entire campaign and the fact that people voted for him. But, when we saw him toying with the future of our children, we had to end him. End it all. Hopefully we can all move on and forget that he ever existed.” The majority of politicians and experts from all over the world responded to the decision with much praise and joy, including President Hollande of France. “Moving forward we hope that America plans to have very different enclosures for potential candidates so that child-like voters cannot venture into a dangerous situation like we have seen here in the 2016 election,” stated Hollande. As of right now, the Democratic National Committee has yet to comment on whether or not they plan to kill either Hillary Clinton or Bernie Sanders, but they do confirm that they want to find a “peaceful way” to put Debbie Wasserman Schultz to rest. Thank you for reading my latest informative news article. Check out more stories below – or like our Facebook page.