Due to the lack of legal consequences, throngs of hallucinating residents have congregated downtown at the 16th Street Mall to touch each other’s faces.
Cohen poured 14 gallons of gasoline, began playing ‘Spark the Fire’ by Gwen Stefani, and lit the contents of the dumpster before biting the heads off several chickens.
The former FBI Director enrolled in a pottery class Anderson Cooper attends in an attempt to get him to sit in between his legs while whispering key findings in his ear.
“Because you can’t fire a gun in the bedroom, it can be very difficult for our members to achieve an erection without penis pills.”
“I’ll be watching the donation basket like a hawk as it goes around. You toss a $20 in there and you better believe I’m throwing a few extra sassy swings in your direction during the pot parade.”
“You won’t hear about this, but I burned down the Notre Dame Cathedral,” Beck confirmed live on Fox & Friends. “This was France’s 9/11 and if I weren’t there to see it firsthand, you’d never know it was me: Glenn Beck, a casual, disposable, everyday Islamic terrorist.”
“If you’re banned you’ll be relocated to a garbage island off the coast of New Jersey.” – Nancy Pelosi